Fare thee well year ...
With all your foolish virtual self harming thoughts
Punishing maybes
And
Possibilities
I hear the echos of fucks
That resound from blocks away
Both joyous
And
Not
A new year
A year that was not anything
A year that passed in a heart beat
A year in which the heart seemed to beat too much
Too fast
And sometimes not at all
It all evened out in the end
And counted for nothing
I am not sure the year counted at all
It cetainly didn't really feel like it happened
Some things are more 'more' than they were
But some are less?
Some closer to death
But i feel more distant
Mum had a stroke
Dad has Alzheimers
The house a street away sounds like a jolly domestic
Which is all very confusing
I think i feel more positive?
Determined
Less plastic
Mums is mostly herself
Just tires easily
Dad is sedated
Turning eleven of the clock
and only three or four houses are loud now
Happy louds
Wa heys and woos
Instead of ings
Its amazing how far an ing carries.
Further than embers
I am on the cooking channel
I am reading a childrens book
I am trying not to think about my life
It almost would be a relief to watch the bushfire news
(Which is a silly selfish thought)
(And both true and untrue at the same time)
(I am not so selfabsorbed as to trump tragedy)
(But selfabsorbed enough to fancy it for awhile)
Which makes me flash back to a scene from Grosse Point Blank
What an awesome film that was
... for a while ...
My new years resolution...
... apart from quitting alcohol,
Eating healthy,
Exercising and loosing weight) ...
Is to watch Grosse Point Blank on a regular basis
And attempt to learn the words off by heart!
I don't expect it to make me a more complete being
Probably I'd have to watch Lady Hawke for that, ay?
Edit: you know it really drives me nuts when I can't work out what people are saying! I refuse to put on dark clothing and crawl closer to their house just to hear. Why! Why did I not invest in one of them there cheap directional devices! This happens every year.
Okay Fuckit!!!
That is my new NEW years resolution!
Directional fucking listening devices!
Fucking drives me nuts!
Ing ing ing ing ing
Edit edit: and now all the neighbour hoood dogs are taking turns to bark.
And i can hear weird crashing fence noises
Close by ...
... but take reassurence in that they reported arresting the man in my neighbourhood this morning responsibe for a violent home invasion and crime spree, not really, argh!
Did i mention i missed most of 'Dinner for one'?
I love that show
I watch it every year
You should google it
Try and drink along with it, ha ha
Its a challenge!
They have been wooing periodically for hours
I just wish they sounded happier about it.
Twenty minutes to go.
Edit edit edit: did i tell you already? One of my first employers clients told my boss i sounded like a dead horse on the phone. He called me into his office and made me practice sounding more cheerful. He randomly called into the office over the next few weeks and after I'd answered the call would bark "SOUND MORE CHEERFUL".
This is what i want to tell the house a block away.
Twelve minutes too go
Edit efit editititditargh for heavens sake! Its still five mintes to go and they satarted the countdown to early and mucked it up counting down from ten to five. Far ou brussel sprout.
Okay now they are wooing again.
They got the time right cause they can hear the fireworks going off in the distance...
... HAPPY NEW YEAR CUNTS WOOO HOOO!!!!!! ....
