Headless chicken

Work is crazed. 
I shall do something about posting on the weekend :)
Here is a flashback post from 4 July 2008

I arrive at work.

It is cold.
It is dark.
It is an ungodly hour of the morning.
I have only just bought my cup of coffee and have an elevator ride up three floors before I will drink it.
The security guard, an old Spanish man in his 50’s “psssts” at me.
He motions with his head for me to come over.
He takes me arm and leads me over into a corner.
He looks around to make sure no one is watching.
“You see that light?” he whispers in his thick Spanish accent.
He glancing briefly, discretely, upwards at the halogen spotlight above our heads.
Standing within the embrace of the light, I nod.
Hard to miss.
"Yes, Lenny."
“It only comes on when you enter the building.” he says
“You are the light of the building.”
“When you are not here, it is dark.”
I smile and flutter my eyelashes.
We do this everyday for a year.
The other security guard, a hungarian lady, sneaks me confectionary tidbits.
Somethings I miss about Sydney.
Nobody calls me the light of the building in Townsville.

Wubbawubbawubba

nothing is straight forward today
the achieveable is taking forever
(and therefore feeling much less achieveable)

it is gray
chill
pouring with rain

people who live a bit out of town
and in danger of getting cut off
have already gone home

i have my period
i wish i were in bed with a heat pack
or a docile cat

Just for something to do

Oh little kitty so full of vomit
Where will thou decorate with this insectoid banquet? (a bit of a stretch as a rhyme I concede)
Will it be on the chair?
Will it be in the hall?
Will it be in be under foot when nature makes it's midnight call?

oh little kitty so soft and sweet
will it seep between the toes of my feet?

Fingers crossed

I am at work on a Saturday, copy typing lists and singing loudly and badly along to Little Birdy's Tonight's the night.

I hope the men in the workshop can't hear me.

Flashback Poem - 18 August 2008

I've decided that my mission for this week - to keep myself occupied and out of trouble  - will be to write the most revolting vomitous poem possible.

First Verse:

Oh my cutie ickle snookie wookums
My Sweet wittle bunny face
I want to make smoochie-woochie noises
Snuggle-wuggled in your embrace

I had a possible next line of:

My pumpkin, my pigeon, my petunia
I want your crotch pressed against my vagina

but I think it might be too good for this poem

Your big chocolaty eyes
and the scrunch of your ickle nosey-wosey
Make my heart go pitter-patter
And my cheeks go rosie

You are the plum in my jam
The banana in my cake
Just for one smile from you
All others I would forsake

I am not sure about the above verse - I don't think it is bad enough. The one below is a definate winner though :D

If I were a pumpkin pie
My skin wouldbe the crust
Because just looking at you
Turns my insides to mush

I want to ruffle my fingers through
Your fluffy wuffy hair
And lick you all over
Like chocolate from an éclair

You are more moreish than bacon
And more addictive than Malteasers
I want to tie you to the bed
And tickle you with feathers

If making custard tart
You'd be the bottle it came in
Spurting forth
Tasty goodness from within

ha hahahaha oh my goodness - this is nearly as fun as the toilet poems :lol:

Oh to bury my nose in the crook of your neck
And breathe in the scent of my snookie bear
And then to run my fingers through
Your shoulder hair

You are the bee’s pyjamas
And the cat’s knees
I want to say bless you
Even when you don’t sneeze

(hurl)

Your eyes make the morning sun
look like the dull glimmer of the moon
And torrid daydreams of you
Cause me to nearly swoon

(stumped for inspiration I googled bad pick up lines - there were some very funny ones there :) I have to try to work in - My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in - If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever - and this might be one of my favourites :) - You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being.")

It's Friday? How did that happen?

Gosh this week has gone fast.  Busy busy busy.

I am at work in an unbrushed state hoping I've managed to camouflage by pulling it back with hair combs, but perhaps the "aura" of camouflage is too strong because the female solider in her camo outfit in the red sedan COMPLETELY FAILED TO SEE ME ON THE ROUNDABOUT!!!!

It is good I have to take the corner so slow in this wet weather.  I was on the damn roundabout slowing to complete the right turn and she just kept going.  I am going to have to start wearing the stupid orange vest with reflective stripes, wot makes me feel so daggy, during the daytime *sigh*

I am content to wear it at night, but in the daytime, on the larger than usual scooter, with the lights on, cause that is the rules, it shouldn't be necessary *pout*

It's because I am near one of the bases.  Riding near the bases, or near where the army rent homes, is to dice with death.  Solitaire with a pearl handled scooter - to butcher a Warren Zevon line.  Lots of cars with V8 engines and young men people who are firmly convinced they are excellent drivers with super good reflexes.  My older brother was like that.  Is like that.  Idiots.

:)  I've had my little rant now and feel better.
Ta.

G'morning

Finally quiet has decended upon the office and can drink my coffee.

I stopped to buy breakfast on the way in early today. 
I sat down and turned computer.
I started munching
I intending to read my emails and make an orderly start on the day, but everybody kept asking me to do stuff for them. 

What ... do they think I work here or something?

My sister had lots of a back molar fall off and now has to get and crown.
SHES GOING TO HAVE A GOLD TOOTH!
I am so jealous.
I want a gold tooth too *pout*