January 2013

things are quiet

the usual post-christmas tensions nibble away at my tentative, timid new year optimism

short haircut lovely, but terribly similar to mothers

heat and humidity sap good intentions and resolve to indulge in domestic godesstry is overturned with a swap to the other side of the pillow and a sleep in till eleven

i would feel better for raisin toast, but it is so hard not to order eggs benedict

everything is green and lush and some afternoons I scooter through the park before work 

i pass flocks of red tailed black cockatoos grazing and magpie geese bathing in puddles

a wash of green and pink lotus flowers cover the ponds

there used to be a small animal enclosure here with kangaroos and wallabies and emus and birds but now i can't quite remember which spot where it was situated

i am tired and melancholy and rereading old familiar favourites and watching already seen dvds again and again and when i drift into daydream i imagine sad things happening

i have planted seeds in the garden

warm summer rain soaked my shoes

the breeze after dried off my shirt as i sipped coffee at the cafe

it stopped raining as soon as i bought an umbrella

(the spell check is suggesting "destroyer" as an alternative to "goddestry" - lol - like, dude, stop with the negatives waves man)

Friday night

Tried not to be early. 
Drifted in about 7.30 ish. 
By time first support "Drawn by Bees" played there were some where between  50 to 80 people there, maybe?
They were lovely and if I wasn't broke I'd have bought their cd too, though there was just a little too much whistling in a row for me.  The harmonies were lovely and the main singers hair very straight and yet somehow also sort of fluffy.

Mr Noga was delightful as ever (and funny and gorgeous and wonderful) and I wish he'd stop walking past me unexpectedly.  I nearly fell over this time.  I probably looked like I was staggering drunk or something and I was unfairly sober.  I only had two drinks at the start of the evening and they weren't particularly alcoholic.  The venue was selling drink tokens.  3 for $10!!!! which is just enough tokens for a glass of wine or a corona - damnit.  And if you want to buy just one token, they charged $4.  All I ask is just a slight forewarning so I can try and suck some of my stomach in.  Is that too much to ask?

By the time Mr Perkins came on the crowd had built to maybe 200ish maybe a bit more.

I was completely and utterly convinced Mr Perkins would only have a couple of the band with him and was beside myself with delight to see they were all there.  sigh Joel Silbersher gibber gibber gibber and I may be just a bit in love with Mr Owens now too.  Is there a limit to the number of musicians one is allowed to be devoted too?  Am I becoming just a little indiscriminate?

People were starting to drift away about half way through their set.  Lots of mature aged fans there and some large hairy tattooed individuals who were hanging out for Beast of Bourbon songs.  Lady with big blonde hair and white linen trousers dancing in airy arm sinuous waves.  Husband in fifties dragging shy wife up front of the band to dance, who would only stand behind the speakers where she wasn't so visible.  Men dancing! In manly ways.  Other men not the clapping or dancing type standing at the back of the room with intermitant trips to the bar.  Tried to talk the security guard into letting them go upstairs, which was chained off.  They didn't seem to want to stand near the other people
attending.  Some very odd men who would just wander about, stand somewhere for a bit,
and than wander about again?  Woman discretely invades stage and dance about next to Mr Perkins. Joel Silbersher has the cutist pout when he is playing.  Thought I heard some snap and crackle towards the end from a piece of equipment that I couldn't actually see, but perhaps I imagined it.  Think crowd numbers were down to the 150ish mark by end of evening. However, that is their loss.  It was great night and Mr Perkins was very funny.  I hope someone posts footage of his interpretive airy arm waving dancing.  Or at least the buttock grab.

The establishment gave away two tickets to everybody there for Jeff Martin next week.

I apologise

I have been in a stupid mindset of late and I don't have a letter "T" on my keyboard since I made a last minute grab at a cat as it lept on board in an attempt to reclaim my attention from the little screen.  Typing with a t is an exercise in determination at present, which is a state/forte/emotion? I am somewhat lacking.

I have a stupid amount of cats and they have been boarded at my sisters for the last couple of mouths whilst my landlord has been doing work around the flat.

My rent increase notification arrived today and I am not sure I can actually afford it and am therefore swamped with depressed thoughts about homeless bagladydom or having most of my pets put down and begging room and rest for one or two at relatives probably over-stretched tolerance.

Am rather wishing I had not decreed November to be no alcohol month and indeed am very close to chucking the whole idea out on its ear.  What was I thinking?

Well I know what I was thinking.  I was thinking I might manage to stay under 90 kilos with clothes &  shoes on, perhaps even in the afternoon and due to have my period.  Two whole days of the scales saying 89.6 or 7 got me feeling all ambitious.

7:30 1/11/12:  feeling less hysterical about the whole thing this morning, though will definately need to make economies and be disciplined and planned about everything I do come next year.  The emergency fund is more necessary now, that's all and the wall-phone is sadly going to have to go..

too much information?

Now that I am a larger person than I was, when I am on the toilet and can't actually see the toilet I am sitting on - just my legs and the shirt that I am wearing - I get disorientated and its like my brain doesn't really believe the toilet is there.  It try's to tell me that actually I am pissing on the floor.  However, I know this isn't true, but the brain is adamant and I come over a bit dizzy, kind of.

Not really dizzy, but a bit, sort of.  Like those days when I am walking about and feel taller than usual for no reason at all.

I hope other people have days when they feel taller.  It's sort of pleasant.
Happily I never have days when I feel shorter.
I wouldn't like that at all.

Yo

Well, a sleepless night prior to the rental inspection and the creeping, sneaking cough kicked in and I am feverish and spluttering.  I have discovered there is a good reason I have never seen someone spit from a motorcycle.  A coughing fit on the scooter resulted in a mouth full of phlem and  it seemed like a good idea at the time.  I used my coat sleeve to whip it off my cheek and chin and neck and helmet and helmet strap and all the other many and various places it ended up on me.

My landlord is still lurking, my rental agents were unimpressed with me, but are at least over and my house is slightly clearer than it was.

I have found some DVD's of the old "The Saint" television series starring Roger Moore, but haven't watched them much yet as if I have been home I have been asleep or compulsively measuring my temperature and mainlining vitamin C.

I'd quite like to go to Tex Perkins Johnny Cash show, but I may still be to ill to manage it after work, sigh.  Thems-the-breaks, ey?

ohsheiteohsheiteohsheite

oh she-ite
i think he went inside
the back doors bolt was drawn
and i can not imagine forgetting to bolt it, because i don't trust the back door to stay closed without it

I had not cleaned yet
I used up all the space in the bin with the newspapers i was storing in the carport

I am so not in the right headspace to be having to be getting up at 5 am for the first time in two years and donning the hated blue blouse.

Did I say I have a job?
It's a part time job - 25 hours a week.
I have been fantasising about a part-time job for months.  I have so wanted to be retired.  A part-time job is ideal and so hard to get.  The lady in charge is apparently blunt and inclined to tell you if you are not doing things right - HOW FANTASTIC!  I feel slightly less stressed knowing that I will be  being monitored.  The last permanent job I had (which I really liked and wish the office hand not gone nuts - it was about the perfect job, darn it) the training was slight and worrying.  I winced thinking about the work I had done three months later when I felt I knew a bit more about what I was doing.

sigh

I wonder if my landlord is really not going to turn up again until Friday, since originally he wasn't supposed to be back until next week?

Well I won't be here cause I am working, so there.
nah
it is so not much of a nah situation
they are not supposed to come inside unless arrange and notice given, but I am a messy pig/slob and therefore not in a position of high ground
the cats aren't really the issue - my slobbery is really the issue
argh

I am so not going to sleep tonight.  I bundled my Blossom and my Wooliff up and tucked them away in their cage at my sisters.  My poor babies.  It is so cold at the moment.  Poor me.  It is so cold at the moment.  My hands were shaking during the whole process and I am still on the verge of crying.  I feel very emotionally imbalanced without my sweeties.

And I can't seem to stop saying 'Sweetie' since the last repeat of Doctor Who
Stephen Moffat has a lot to answer for

ohgodohgodohgodohgod

My landlord dropped by this week to advise he wants to paint the outside of the house and can I clear out the garage and get rid of the rubbish so that he can get to the walls.  Said I would have it cleared up by the weekend.  (I had been hoping to get a skip in to get rid of some of the larger objects, like the television that doesn't work and the single bed frame I don't want anymore and what I don't think is good enough for the charity shops, but I ran out of money, d'oh).

He dropped by this morning to start stripping the paint off some of the boards!!  My brother-in-law isn't coming by until tomorrow and I haven't cleaned up the house yet or smuggled out my excess cats or cleaned the litter trays yet cause there wasn't any room in the bin after I got rid of all the old newspapers I've been hoping to use in the garden if I ever had enough money to get a load of soil dropped off!!!!!!

Have tidied a bit and closed some windows and fled the scene in the hope he won't come inside if I am not there - worried he might need to use the toilet or something.  Having to rely on my cats hiding because there is a strange man outside, but can't guarantee they will.

Was expecting to have tomorrow to deal with stuff, but am starting work at 7 am at my new job, that I thought I had stuffed the interview for yesterday!!!

But it is part-time so I will have the afternoon free.  Landlord said he would do a bit today and then come back Friday.

I feel a bit sick with stress, but will get Blossom and Wooliff out tonight.  My poor babies.  They have been cuddled up to me like sticky-burrs at night cause its so cold.

He has advised he needs to put up the rent and was checking if I had rental assistance (as I mentioned I was between jobs at the moment when he came by Monday) but have assured him I am not usually out of work for long and that it was fine to raise it.

He is a very nice man - but I am a slob and a pig - and certainly only a good tenant in the sense that I don't break anything and pay my rent on time, preferably ahead of time, and don't have domestics and punch holes in walls.

ARGh ARGH ARGHARGH