Oh me, oh my ....

I have gained an overly chatty neighbour who has put my lack of enthusiastic response to the invite to come watch a movie with him sometime to offence at 'implied' cracking onto.

Extra implied 'as if!'.

I am not a social person.
I have been very polite.

He was supposed to fence his dog in, as it was not a dog friendly rental.
My cat had been missing two days.
(He is back now)
I am working twice my usual hours because someone is off sick for May.

He seems to be reacting to the concept of 'duplex' like others might to share house.

It is not a share house.

He keeps offering to do stuff for me.
I know i am messy and useless,  but i don't want people to do stuff for me!
I want to do it or nothing!

And i like it messy!!!
I feel so more secure!
Like I've left boobie-traps to ensnare trespassers .
If only there were a fence!

He is in his seventies or so, and obviously not used to living a single life, but ...

... but ....

... secretly ...

... secretly, I  wish I  were a serial killer and knew how to hide bodies, sigh.

On weekends when I work alone I speak to at least 150 people face to face.
I would take calls from probably twice that.
After shallow unrewarding potentially antagonistic interactions with 450 people in 7 hours, i REALLY don't want to see, talk, integrate with a living soul wot is not a cat.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect my neighbour and his rather lovely elderly dog wot I am already sneaking treats too, to stay on their own side.

I am trying to wrack my brians of elderly patients who might want a man.
He has had a knee replacement, so he probably could dance?

Raofl

My sister and her partner have gone away camping, leaving their grown up children alone in the house.

Except from my nieces latest update:

Day 3 without parents: Dukey found a couple of maggots in the corner of our laundry next to our bin. He freaked out and sprayed them with bug spray, but it wasn't working fast enough and they were crawling towards him so he smashed them with a shoe. More started coming out from under the carpet though - more than he could squash - so he decided to drown them with water. But then he realised he'd used too much water and there was a massive wet patch on the carpet. So he tried to mop it up with towels and then when he ran out of towels (and I swear to god, I wish I was making this up) grabbed the fucking iron and started trying to iron the fucking floor dry. It worked a little bit but was taking forever so he gave up, put the towels in the washing machine, and wandered off into his room.

Came back an hour later. The entire back end of the house is flooded. He forgot to put the draining hose in the laundry tub. And he can't dry the floors with with towels. Because all the towels were in the wash. So now he is in the corridor with the mop, gagging as he tries to get rid of this water.

The worst part?
The.maggots.are.still.alive.

And now they're in the kitchen.

It was a bargin!

Have been lecturing myself for the last two weeks about the need to get a grip and do some serious saving for a while.

And then ... sigh.

The ever fabulous Margaret Crawford went and made the gorgeous little bunny mug and my steely resolve crumbled before it even got to flash its colours.

Sleeping in

Snuggling with cat in bed.
Stroke softly under chin.
He gently takes my hand in paw and affectionately licks.

I can't but help wonder if he is just cleaning me up abit, so I don't dirty his fur.

How does one spell tarry? Tary? Tari?

Advance!
Tarry not amidst the discarded clutter and detritus
Cardboard mountains of consumed tv dinners and too many drinks
But go!  Go forth!
Battle overflowing litter trays stinking of piss.

Face the frequently forgotten and affeared
Tray hidden beneath the back stairs
All to oft' left long
And wilfully misremembered when done so.

Oh, if only I could discourse a river such as Hercules
To wash before me this feline faeces

Be brave little cat mother!
(Not so little in form,
But little in resolve)

Suck deep of breathe and hold
And triumphant undefeated, discard
Behold litter all clean and new
To be promptly christened with urine and poo.


Ive been watching a midsummers nights dream on dvd. Helen mirren as Queeb Titannia.

Flaps arms joyfully like kermit the frog ....

... am rather delighted with Nancy Springers Enola Holmes series for young readers. Wish I could buy books 3 and 4. Not re released for a while.
Patience is not one of my virtues .

I am also reading Abdrzej Sapkowski's Withcher series and am impatient that I am forced to work for a living when I would much rather be reading.

Surely people who could productively not make trouble and just lay back with a good book should be encouraged to do so, and have their subsistence subsidised to allow non literature , restless people who NEED to be doing STUFF to be occupied and encouraged to do so.

It would keep people who whilst otherwise might be tempted to razor their neighbours occupied and feel worthwhile and valued?

Not a good sentence.
There is a better way.
 My brain just don't wanna go there.

Not entirely my fault.
I couldn't sleep last night , even though I was tired.

Was past 12.30 when i tried to sleep, and my preliminary alarms started at 4.30.

I am not a morning person.

I found a cut throat razor in the gutter outside of my home after new year's day and scattered blood stains on the road, but no newsworthy article referencing such has appeared.

I've always wanted a own cut throat razor.

I cannot see what use it would be to take it to tbe local station.
I am much rather inclined to see if the weekend nurse will autoclave it for my safe keeping.

I wish someone would tell me if the new owners of the duplex want to keep renting out the one i live in, or if they want me to move out?  My lease is up at the end of February and I've heard nothing.

I have started demolishing the cobwebs I've allowed to build up out of sentiment for Dianne Wynne Jones, Howls Moving Castle.

You really should read it if you haven't already.

Nothing really like Howls net of spiders. I don't think I could have slept like that.

I sprayed my bathroom about an hour ago.
I just tried to go to the toilet.
An unwell, poisoned cockroach just tried to climb up my foot.

I am not suited to rigorous cleanliness.

I feel sad about the dying insect.

Though I am really very far from impressed with its far too confident interaction with my foot.

80 million this thursday for gold lotto
What would i do with 80 millon?
It is a silly amount.
I'd much rather win smaller mounts,
80 million is stoopid






I am sure i could do something with it anyway, what!

Xmas lunch

First layer of plate consists
Of pickled salad
Beetroot and feta salad
With some garden salad
Wasabi dressing
Ham and turkey

Out of room
What to do?

Second layer consists of
roast vegetables and pork
And gravy made from scratch
Not forgetting the peas and honey carrot

Curses!
The gravy has leaked down
As gravy does
And mixed with the salad and wasabi dressing!

I shoulda thought it through better
Coulda
Woulda
Shoulda

Groan
So full

Of look ... watermelon!

Ohhhhh nooooo
Even more full

Cradle the old blind chicken
Being harrassed by the bad tempered peahen

Feed broken crackers to the peacock

Feed the xmas treat to the other chickens
Dried mealy worms
...
Chickens don't understand what they are
Chickens walk over treat in search for crackers

Bok bok bok