Friday, November 20, 2009

Self Obsessed

I winter in my discontent
Warmed by slights
Wrapped in bitter brooding bound resentments
Tight

If I would let go
Look out instead of in
Perhaps it would open the way for spring to begin

But I squat
glacier locked
In icy contemplation
Of every glancing chance personal interaction

- figured I should do one myself since I was posting other peoples poems :)

More Chick Poetry

A Work of Artifice by Marge Piercy
The bonsai tree
in the attractive pot
could have grown eighty feet tall
on the side of a mountain
till split by lightning.
But a gardener
carefully pruned it.
It is nine inches high.
Every day as he
whittles back the branches
the gardener croons,
It is your nature
to be small and cozy,
domestic and weak;
how lucky, little tree,
to have a pot to grow in.
With living creatures
one must begin very early
to dwarf their growth:
the bound feet,
the crippled brain,
the hair in curlers,
the hands you
love to touch.

and i like this one too, but it is longer

What Are Big Girls Made Of? - Marge Piercy

The construction of a woman:
a woman is not made of flesh of bone and sinew
belly and breasts, elbows and liver and toe.
She is manufactured like a sports sedan.
She is retooled, refitted and redesigned every decade.
Cecile had been seduction itself in college.
She wriggled through bars like a satin eel,
her hips and ass promising,
her mouth pursed in the dark red lipstick of desire.

She visited in '68
still wearing skirts tight to the knees,
dark red lipstick,
while I danced through Manhattan in mini skirt,
lipstick pale as apricot milk,
hair loose as a horse's mane.

Oh dear, I thought in my superiority of the moment,
whatever has happened to poor Cecile?
She was out of fashion, out of the game,
disqualified, disdained, dis- membered from the club of desire.

Look at pictures in French fashion magazines
of the 18th century:
century of the ultimate lady fantasy
wrought of silk and corseting.
Paniers bring her hips out three feet each way,
while the waist is pinched
and the belly flattened under wood.
The breasts are stuffed up and out
offered like apples in a bowl.
The tiny foot is encased in a slipper
never meant for walking.

On top is a grandiose headache:
hair like a museum piece,
daily ornamented with ribbons,
vases, grottoes, mountains,
frigates in full sail, balloons,
baboons,
the fancy of a hairdresser turned loose.

The hats were rococo wedding cakes
that would dim the Las Vegas strip.
Here is a woman forced into shape
rigid exoskeleton torturing flesh:
a woman made of pain.

How superior we are now:
see the modern woman thin as a blade of scissors.
She runs on a treadmill every morning,
fits herself into machines of weights
and pulleys to heave and grunt,
an image in her mind she can never approximate,
a body of rosy glass that never wrinkles,
never grows, never fades.
She sits at the table
closing her eyes to food hungry,
always hungry:
a woman made of pain.

A cat or dog approaches another, they sniff noses.
They sniff asses.
They bristle or lick.
They fall in love as often as we do, as passionately.
But they fall in love or lust with furry flesh,
not hoop skirts or push up bras rib removal or liposuction.
It is not for male or female dogs
that poodles are clipped to topiary hedges.

If only we could like each other raw.
If only we could love ourselves
like healthy babies burbling in our arms.

If only we were not programmed
and reprogrammed to need what is sold us.
Why should we want to live inside ads?
Why should we want to scourge our softness
to straight lines like a Mondrian painting?
Why should we punish each other with scorn
as if to have a large ass were worse
than being greedy or mean?

When will women not be compelled
to view their bodies as science projects,
gardens to be weeded, dogs to be trained?
When will a woman cease to be made of pain?

Friday

Friday, what of thee? I am making a git of myself, as per usual and as sometimes happens thereafter, I have played with my google and it has thrown up at me this:

Sonnet 13 - And wilt thou have me fashion into speech by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

And wilt thou have me fashion into speech
The love I bear thee, finding words enough,
And hold the torch out, while the winds are rough,
Between our faces, to cast light on each?
—I drop it at thy feet. I cannot teach
My hand to hold my spirit so far off
From myself—me—that I should bring thee proof
In words, of love hid in me out of reach.
Nay, let the silence of my womanhood
Commend my woman-love to thy belief,
—Seeing that I stand unwon, however wooed,
And rend the garment of my life, in brief,
By a most dauntless, voiceless fortitude,
Lest one touch of this heart convey its grief

Nice, ey?

Being an airhead is such a drain. Do you suppose it is because my hair is the wrong colour? I tried to dye it blonde once, but fried it by accident. I should let a hairdresser do it next time.

Awwwwwww

I think I adore "Exploding Dog" so much I would even cut his toenails for him if he wanted me to, and file of dead skin from his heels.

















Who knows? One day I may even have spare cash to buy Christmas Cards from his store - sigh - one day.

Quizzical

Somebody came to my blog via the query:

Zombie Strippers "he likes knives"




you just did that to make me feel better, didn't you.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Lunch

mmmMMMmmm

chicken, bacon, red onion, cheese, toasted panni - so much bacony goodness

I forgot to pack my lunch and my resistance was low. I am now doomed to rice and vegetables and NO COFFEE until Thursday.

I lack the ability to think ahead rationally. Now-goodness always wins against future-goodness. I am also shit at chess.

(I always make sure I have enough cat food first though)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Awesome. Just Awesome.

We got the first year strings!

I have been pining for them. The teacher always looks so laid back and calm and happy. Like he has taken drugs and is just waiting for the kids to start so that he can laugh at the audience listening to them. He clicks his fingers louder than the children play. He actually blushed tonight, when one of the little songs came apart half way through.

None of the children cried on stage, though there was one violinist who didn't actually play the whole time she was out there. She did look very pretty posed to bow. There was however a crying girl escorted through the audatorium by her mother. Possibly distressed by her performance? I don't know. They all look the same to me in their little blue and white shirts and plaits.

Queen has never been quite the same for me since hearing 1st year wind play a short mishmash of "We will rock you" and "Another one bites the dust".

The two ladies next to me couldn't hold it together during 1st year strings and collapsed into giggles. My pregnant sister felt the need to leave the room. Sadly no older fathers stiffling curses at their wives for dragging them along. Most parents seemed quite happy to be there.

Shame that, but one can't have everything.

The trumpets and trombones seemed to sound more duck like than earlier in the year. Depressed ducks in need of prozac.

My 13 yr old niece threatened to punch me very very hard if I sang along to Jingle Bell Rock. Luckily it turned out I don't actually know the words. Tortured her by leering at the drum teacher.

She called me a freak and a loser.

I reminded her I have not yet bought her Christmas present and she might want to rethink that one.

All in all, a most satisfactory evening

(My nieces arm and saxophone)
((the one at the back on the left))