Thursday, September 30, 2010

Chewing bottom lip thoughtfully

I am not sure how I feel about being placed into a government program to obtain a Certificate II in Business.  It appears to consist of basic customer service and word processing - both of which one would hope I had the hang of by now considering I have been working for twenty years - and then entrance into an apprenticeship or traineeship?

Ladies at the last permanent job I worked at used to come to me for assistance when they got stuck taking their Certificate IV.

Still ... it will be something for me to do during the day - which is a good thing because I go nuts sitting about at home.  9 till 3 Monday to Thursday.

Should I try and become an hairdresser? 

The last hairdresser said I had no talent for it when I went in for a tidy up after chopping off my split ends one frustrated evening when they kept knotting up when I was brushing my hair.

I can't help but think I am taking the place of somebody more deserving and who would appreciate it more.  I worry I shall be disruptive in class.  The lady at the last place of work who was training us banned me from answering anymore questions.  I was the 'Martin' of the group.

Blinks bewilderedly into the day

So in my dream this morning, I was working in something like a newsagency, except bigger with more staff and it was run by Richard Branson.  I also seemed to have bags of my old shoes there, along with a bag of the stuffed toys I had as a child.  Justin Beiber (sp?) wanted one of the used toys.  I offered the large fuzzy mouse, but he only wanted the chicken slippers.

Richard said there was lots of good buzz about me and I was an up and comer.

Then I woke up and Blossom-cat, who had been playing with one of my shoes, decided to leap on the bed - however a claw had still been attached to the shoe (which is a very light slipper type shoe) and consequently it was flung up a-la sling-shot and smacked me in the face.

Good morning, I think?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I accept my fate

My descent into mad old ladydom is complete.
I have started drinking dry sherry.

(they come in conveniently large 2 litre bottles - which would be handy to have laying about if one wants to store up drinking water at the commencement of a cyclone warning - is 17% alcohol, isn't too sweet and was only $10 - bargain)


i sit still
while without the wind moves
a chicken plucks a cherry tomato
and clucking removes now in search of bugs

summers moist air
like a caress to the throat
with eyes closed against glare
a cricket's song ends abruptly

bok bok bok
i chase chicken away from cat food

Saturday, September 25, 2010


Fourish hours work doing stocktake in a warehouse.
Bid wear black and closed shoes.
I whacked my pearls on to add some class.

Had not realised my hands had become so colour coordinated with my outfit (I was very focused on my counting).  Had been wiping the sweat from my upper lip and mouth.

*sigh* I think it would have been nice if somebody had mentioned to me that I had put black dirt smudges around my mouth - like a mustache and goatee beard.

I may yet get to go hear Mr Richards playing support for Clare Bowditch in Cairns.  I've found close and cheap accommodation and bought a ticket.  I just have to manage to get there.  I concede a twelve hour return bus trip may seem a little excessive to listen to a support act, but I would quite like to see Clare Bowditch perform too.

I am not totally nuts.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

and then there were six

Michael Fuzzball
Missing since Sunday

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I think there's something in that for all of us

I often wonder this also.
(I also wonder if the quote I used as the title was from the D-Generation or one of the other comedy skit shows that was on television around about that time - and what was that guys name again? - and why isn't he hosting Sunday Arts anymore? - and by the way my niece came second in her solo poem reading performance at the eisteddfod today portraying a sad mouse whose mother had just chucked her out of home because she was lactose intolerant and didn't eat cheese - it ended in the tragic death of the mother mouse snapped in a trap due to her addiction to the substance - a judgment on the intolerant against the intolerant, ey?)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Group Mime

Obviously I have a very stick-in-the-mud, old fashioned idea of what mime is.  In actually it turned out to be acting out something with no lines. 

Nary a person stuck in a box or walking against a wind in the lot of them.  The best bits was when the sad clown got pelted with imaginary juggling balls by the two mean clowns and when the bus crashed.

Also my niece does an excellent robber running from police to benny hill music.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Oh my gosh!

My 12 year old niece is competing in "Group Mime" as part of the Eisteddfod tonight.  Grades 4 to 7.  I had no idea there was such a thing as group mime.  I feel this is something I need to experience.

I shall report in tomorrow if I haven't tried to kill myself by the time Grade 5 comes out.

Lord Vetinari:  He has banned street theatre and hangs mime artists upside down in a scorpion pit opposite a sign that says "Learn The Words".  Terry Pratchett

Saturday, September 11, 2010


Came across this clip on rage. The lady looks remarkably like one of my nieces. 

Have therefore showed it to said niece and she's played it four times in a row already - she only stopped because they had to leave for basketball - lol

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hangs head in shame

I am so crap at being unemployed and frugal.

New Terry Pratchett book out in hardback. 
Saw yesterday. 
Bought yesterday. 
Read yesterday. 
Over too soon.

Have three baby butternut pumpkins developing on my rampantly growing pumpkin vines.  On daily look-out for female flowers to interfere with.

Male flowers bloom at the beginning/middle of the mess of vines and lady flowers are more to the ends of the vines.  I could leave it up to the bees, but the idea of pollinating personally tickles my fancy.  Preggers on first go, poor little vine.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Born under a bad sign

Well ... it would appear that I am a doofus.

Show up for obligatory appointment with government employment agency to find that Centrelink were expecting me for my first lodgement Monday the 6th and not 16th as I had thought.  Sure she had a thick accent, but she was absolutely lovely and I thought I understood her perfectly at the time.

I only rang on Friday.
Monday seems terribly quick to get organised by when I gotta go to the other place first.  I haven't even received any paperwork in the mail yet.

So I couldn't have my interview/discussion at the government employment place, cause I am no longer on the system and have to start all over again.

Aye currambah.

I wonder if there is some kind of pagan ceremony I can perform to exorcise my doofusness?  I'm up for it.  As long as I don't gotta dance about nekkid.

Update:  back on track with unemployment stuff - some sort of computer gremlin - try book appointment with gov-emp Monday.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


I've been a good girl.  I have applied for a couple of jobs - even though, what I really want to do is slack about for a couple of weeks.

I thought the gardening would energise me a little.  Certainly the large solid looking gray spider that emerged from the ground when I was digging a hole caused some swift movement on my part, but mostly just resulted in me having flashbacks as I was about to go to sleep last night.  I think it was a wolf spider (picture at bottom of page of link) but am not sure - there are so many to chose from.

Bloody hate spiders.

Technically I appreciate them and their role in the ecosystem, but I just don't want them near me.  It wouldn't die either.  I kept missing with the hoe and when I did think I'd hit it, it seemed to have no effect.  I think it is still out there.  Doesn't make me want to do any more gardening.

If only it hadn't crawled towards me.  I could have coped if it'd gone the other direction.  I have to go now - I have the shudders again just thinking about it.

My Monday after the encounter with the spider may have slightly resembled this ExplodingDog Cartoon.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Flappy hand wave

It having been so long since I have interacted with anybody, I find it hard to start again.  Rather like the few times I saw my dad after the family broke up.  Nothing to talk about - and as it turned out, no real shared history to base anything on.  He'd always been off working the farm or watching television or talking to other adults.  Being thrown up into the air and caught again when I was a toddler, though thrilling at the time, doesn't leave one with much to converse about.

I am getting a lot of reading done.

I bought a quill and some ink on Thursday.  Perhaps I shall inflict some handwritten letters onto friends next week :) 

Friday, September 3, 2010


Called to assemble for a meeting Wednesday afternoon, five minutes before due to log-off and be let loose for the evening, we are informed instructions have come from on-high that all labour hire employees are no longer required and I attempt to stifle my joy discretely and fail, whilst one of my favourite ladies starts to cry.

I am not cut out for call centre work, though perhaps I judge harsh and unfairly? 

I wasn't busy enough because I only knew how to do a little bit of what was required and we weren't allowed to read books or surf the web in-between calls which left me starring off into space figuratively gnawing off a virtual leg and trying to work out finances - as if one is claiming unemployment one is not really supposed to voluntarily leave a job without a good reason and thus apparently incurring a eight week wait before payments will start. 

Enforced stillness has a bad effect on me.  I get emotional and paranoid and like to burst into tears at the slightest provocation.  Completely ridiculous, I know, but I've never had any control over that part of myself and therefore a further downward spiral into self-loathing is like to start, so really ... I cannot express how grateful I am to be let go :)

I have a fridge.  I have chairs.  I have met some very very nice people.  I have even managed to pay off my credit card (though that probably won't last for long).  I have done well out of my last temp job.

Other stuff I wrote whilst at work

O how I miss thee
ever reliable online rhyming dictionary
wot previous was a finger-tip type away
you always knew just what to say
Who was it who wrote that song what goes like "time keeps on ticking ticking ticking into the future"?  I want to punch them in the nose.
unhappy with my lot
I invest in lotto
I wonder if there is a limit to how much Camomile Tea one should drink a day?
I would like to live somewhere that has church bells that ring out the hour, like Hobart, but not actually in Hobart.  Hobart is too cold.
Like hyperactive ants at the start of their working day
Keen to go forth and produce for Queen and nest
They are feckin' little annoying pests
getting into sealed jars, cupboards and plastic packets, what choice is left?
but to poison the little bast--d pests
Camomile doesn't seem quite enough
or an appropriate equivalent to snuff
out rambunctious bothersome nerves
as poison to ants, what would better serve?
Has anybody got any proper d---s?
sigh, it's not even lunchtime yet.