... sigh .... 2020

 Really, this is an unspeakable  year.   

My father passed away.  My other sister has cancer and is doing chemo ( thou ovarian cancer caught early, which is actually awesome, because you don't normally get to catch it early - so actually probablly great)

There have been other gastly things which I've obviously blocked from my memory cause I can't remember them off the top of my head.

One of my musician crushes passed away a few days ago and I only found out this afternoon. 

He once passed unnecessarily closely to my chair at a gig in Brisbane and I got to leer at his rear from an inch away, and then proceded to say sexually inappropriate things on line *smacks wrist bad sammy*.  One of a handful of people whom my occasionally unruly hormones and enthusiasms inspired me to fly for to see.  I even went out in Townsville, where I never feel particularly safe to be inebriated on my own.

RIP Mike Noga

Ps. Could all the other people I adore please take very good care of themselves for at least the next six months.  I'm usually pretty resilient,  but this year is testing me.

Poor Suki ...

... managed to muster her safely into the cat carrier.
Cone and all.

She removed the cone herself a couple of days before, whilst I was at work,  so I left it off overnight so she could get a good clean in.

She licked off all the fur on the back of her back legs along with a couple of other patches.  God only knows what the vet thinks "insert sad worried oppressed face emoji"

She vomited up spit vomit in stress at the voyage.
I stopped at my sister's place on the way to clean her up.
Three or four vomits later she was at the vets.

Couldn't get her out of the cage.
Eventually was able to get a towel over her and slide her out.

She was very well behaved once she had a towel over her head.
If only they made those hawk/falcon hoods for small feral nervous cats.

All healed up beautifully .
Vet happy.
Ish.

Subsequent behaviour interesting.

Still a very discreet cat.
Unlikely to be assertive or put herself forward.

Except occasionally.
She appears to have decided that I am fair game when sitting upright, which I don't do often as I only really have one wooden chair that is not very comfortable to sit on, but which the arms of which are very useful in helping me get up from the mattress on the floor, which is my bed at present, and that I am spending far too much time reclined on.

She is very cute.
Even in her piebald state.

My sister says she looks like Toothless from how to train your dragon.

Lord Whiffle-Trout

Some neighbour or other is letting his dog run loose and rampaging.

He has nearly caught poor Springbok Bone Breaker, the Destroyer (aka my cat) twice in my own yard.

I have stepped barefoot in dog shit once.

I've bought collar and lead and intend to buy unchewable cord in the near future so as I can chain him up for temporary periods when I want my cats to come home unmolested.

He is a rather lovely dog under non cat conditions, and he is totally getting a bath tomorrow or Sunday with some nice vanilla scented doggie shampoo.

My hands were practically black last time I petted him.

Breakfast adventures ...

The first Xmas controversy has occurred.

Met mother for breakfast at cafe.

I never go to anywhere I like with her because she is invariably rude unless she has found the place herself and is showing it to us.

The owner of the place I used to go to in Cleveland once came out to ask me to speak to my mother about her behaviour to the waitresses.  she'd made them cry last time she was there when there was a mistake on her order.

She was in one of her moods and being disparaging of her grand children.

Cafe said couldn't swap spinach for tomato as garnish. Would have to buy as side.

Step father forgot to get senior discount at time and they said couldn't do after fact.

Mother couldn't let go being denied her garnish of choice and was loudly declaring would complain to franchise.

Mother than decided her coffee was served cold.

Mother then was rude to waitress bring food.

Loudly complained she had not been given gluten free bread and declared "that's disgusting! Disgusting!" And to take it away.

I haven't had much sleep and don't cope with her behaviour in cafes at best of times.   So I left.

Have retreated home, like the coward I am, but stopped and gave my sister the headsup first.

The thing is ... The complaints were fair enough. There is no reason they shouldn't be able to swap some spinach for a tomato, and I think they should have given the senior discount afterwards.

I wonder if she decided to leave and made a scene demanding her money back?
I wonder if she ended up being asked to leave?
They are both possibilities.
Or it may have just fizzled out into weeping.

It's too early to start drinking isn't it?

Stressed ...

The frogs are trying to kill themselves again.
Have rescued teenage amphibians two nights in a row.

Was the Scream I heard a moment before that of the frog I fished from the toilet not ten minutes ago?

Nearly a nasty accident there.
I was in a terrible rush at the time and had to purse my cheeks savagely and flail about for something to catch it with. It was an Olympian of frogs.
Lept about all over the place.
Fending cats off with one hand.
Trying to get the frog to jump into a bag.
Welding my knees together and chanting "I am the Master of my own sphincter" to myself.

Colour me startled!

Was making a prchase at Target and checkout lady advised, for my information, that underwear was not returnable.

WHO IS RETURNING UNDERWEAR!!!!!
icky!

This just reaffirms my decision; never live closely with another human being.
I do not understand people.

Cats are cool.

Like bow-ties.

I'm thinking about ordering a monocle

Feels like a sunday

Full of good intentions of planting out my hibiscus plants today and getting my garden bed set up, but looming social requirement puts me off.  I really dont want to go to work friends house tonight, even though I know it will be pleasant once I am there.

Seeing people on my day off makes me feel like I havent had a day off. Plus its a long way away on a scooter in scooter-unfriendly speed limits, which means I have to pullover into the bike lane a lot.

New flower ... pretty yellow one. Also I bought a native hibiscus. Will post a photo when it flowers.  Hopefully it well be a photo of it in the ground.

Bloody hell

I swear to god! The baby frogs at my house are suicidal!

I am cleaning kitty kitter trays outside. I have just poured some bleach into the dirty tray. I go to the hose to swill it out. Small frog hangin' on hose. Try to offload on nearist bush, but no ... frog makes beeline to manky litter tray, plus bleach!!!!!

Takes some VERY fast moving to snatch tray away from determined frogs leap.

WHAT IS IT THINKING? Was it depressed because there were no curlews evident to peck it to death and it decided to embrace its end through acid?

Freakin' do not get green tree frogs.
I used to think they were so nice, but if they are not trying to wallow in my excrement, or taunting death by cat, they are being insanely reckless by natural causes.

Freak. Me. Out. The. Fuck.

Sunday morning

so i am playing mommy for my nieces and nephew this week
saw sister off to the plane this morning

eldest niece (who has been sick for past three months or so with mystery illness) has more tests to go through, one of which requires a 24 hour urine collection wednesday and thursday

i get to pour pee from an icecream container via funnel into another container that needs to be kept in the fridge

very happy that sister has a beer fridge
cause that's where the pee is going to get stored

poor cookie has to stop taking all her medications for the three days prior to the urine test, so she is not going to be a happy camper this week and i have my fingers crossed its not just going to degenerate into loud sobbing and screams from the sofa for the whole time

she will still be allowed to have some neurofin, but we have to write down date, time and how much

but she starts vomiting and stuff as well as being in severe pain, so that may get tricky

i put forth that when i was in the emergency room at the hospital for my gallbladder attack and they didn't want to give me any more morphine and i wasn't keeping down the panadine forte (or whatever it was) that they shoved it up my bum instead

funny, but she didn't seem keen on this - lol

What light through yonder window breaks? It's a train coming to kill me.

Oh Monday, what joys will you bring today?

Mother hath arrived and will be cooking lamb shank soup tonight.  Though since my sister did not gush with excitment at the prospect, but instead said "yeah, that sounds good", perhaps she won't.  It wasn't the response mother had wished for.  What mother wanted was "oh that would be awesome.  i looooove lamb shank soup.  i haven't had that for years." or something to that effect.  A mere, yeah that sounds good, from the person whose home and kitchen she is invading (and no doubt sledging in a mutter loud enough to be heard in the loungeroom - which was what happened last time she was here -because sister doesn't do things exactly the way mother does them - who knew cooking rice could be so controversial?) means that perhaps she will do the long suffering sad cooking of something completely different or perhaps even just fish and chips takeaway, with a teary 'you don't like my cooking' and more comments regarding the diet of her grandchildren ...

Who knows?
Anything could happen.
It may even be pleasant.
That's happened once or twice.
Last night was quite nice after all.
It  could be great.
Right?
Right?

(of course there wouldn't be a train coming through a window - that is just silly)

Saturday

It is Saturday and hot.  The sun battles the clouds, resulting in a stink of humidity that suffocates skin.  Rough palms scuff and scrap delicate skin on face as sweat is swiped from upper lips and chins leaving red whimpering rashes that burn in the too harsh light, and perhaps I should have worn a shirt over my too skimpily topped dress?  The scooter trip to my sisters is probably just long enough for my bossom to get sunburnt.  Must remember not to lean forward.  Why do they make women's clothes so lowcut that one is nearly forced to wear a t-shirt under them?  Do they not know how hot it gets here?

BBQ today, but I think I may mostly eat dip and salad.  Can't face hot greasy bbqed sausage in this weather.  Perhaps I shall just wimp out in the airconditioning?  I've no reputation for socialbility to defend.

Have seen lots of things I would quite like to buy myself, but very little to actually buy for family members.  Agreed to go shopping with the parent tomorrow, which will probably be traumatic.  She asks me what she should buy me for Christmas, but she doesn't like any of the things I have suggested.  She has decided she is going to buy me clothes.  Only I rather fear I shall end up outfitted in clothes exactly like mothers.  Like the time she bought us matching vest coats.

Hangs head in shame

The overly keen man was around at my house again when I was out today.
Left a note on the door with an invite out this evening.
Even you need to eat it said.
With three exclamation marks.


I feel hunted.

Which makes me cross.
And now I've done a bad thing.

I txted him that he was too full-on for me and that I was not comfortable with all the calls and drop arounds.

As an adult I know I should have just telephoned him and talked to him.
But then he would have argued with me.
Or been desperate to make amends.
Maybe even have cried?

So I txted and have fled to my sisters to hide out in case he comes around my house again.

I am such a chicken weiner nancy girl.

The nasty part of my brain is tossing scenarios at me.  Me staying here until after dinner and sneaking back home after dark only to find him lying in wait for me on my doorstep. 

I wish I didn't have an imagination.
My imagination is cruel to me.

Puzzled

I have fallen prey to impulse.  I was doing so well!  Out searching through the shops for a new filter for my water jug and not buying all the other cool things I could have bought (I may go back and get that slow cooker through - it was only $20 - bargin)

But then it happened ... I have bought wax strips.  For some reason it suddenly seemed like a good idea to attempt waxing my legs for the first time in my life?  Why?  What was I thinking?  Melon & Peach fragrance?

Edit 6:19pm:  I went back and bought the slow cooker - $18 at checkout - doesn't have that immediate spurt of satisfaction playing with it though - won't be ready till past 9 pm.

Edit Edit 8:36pm:  ooooooo it was so yummmmmy - i have made a pig of myself - and i am very inept at this leg waxing business - stopped at me knees and i haven't actually done the back of my leg - i am going to go with Linus' line (peanuts character) who only shined the front of his shoes because he didn't care what people thought of him as he ws leaving a room.

Boxing Day One

So far, it is all amicable and pleasant. Was nice to the parents-in-law and they came to lunch.  Mother was elsewhere, so one hazard avoided. Eldest gets out of hospital today with baby. 

Mother is fragile.

The hotel original booked has gone down hill.  They have moved to another.  The bed is too hard.  The airconditioner blows directly on her which is hurting her eyes.  She is pale and weepy most of the time (though the weepy is because since having the catracts out her eyes are a bit sensitive).  It is making it tricky to judge her moods.

She gave me a microwave vegetable steamer for christmas.

Woken last night to frog screams.  Sudden downpour of rain and a young frog hazarded internal exploration.  There wasn't too much blood.  It was still hopping when I rescued it. Recovery my christmas wish.  Poor little frog.  The red and the green was quite christmasy. 

One small forboding-type comment from the parent, about having 'stuff' to organise Monday.

Surprised myself

I could not be polite.

Pregnant sister's parents-in-law (the father who said would build the extension to house, but has now been persuaded by his wife not to finish what he has started and is now only working till is lockable) were at the BBQ.  Pregnant sister has paid for mother-in-law's change of flight and they are staying till 11 January,.   

I couldn't look at them. 
I couldn't speak to them.

Mother-in-law who sat and sneered at last bbq was all happy and chatty this time.

I finished eating and left.

My mother is due to arrive Tuesday.  Mother's hobby in her retirement is fighting with people.  I don't think she feels like she has had a good day unless she has made a waitresses cry.

The family gathering on Christmas Day is going to be terrific.

Oh what a wicked web we weave ...

My mother said something about me coming for a visit for a week when they drive back to Brisbane after their Christmas visit that nobody wanted. I believe I said no, because I need to look for work etc. Think she then said something about there being nothing much around that time of year. I think I countered with the idea that perhaps I was going to try and get some casual work during the Christmas rush, which appeared to kill the subject.

This was a couple of weeks ago.

Last night when she called and she was mentioning tolls and the gateway and desperate for something to say, I mentioned I'd heard they weren't doing paper train tickets anymore and she said something along the lines of yes it's ridiculous, but I'm sure we can work something out for when you're here.

oh boy

She thinks I only have three cats.

She's been over thrusting her good intentions onto my poor Uncle Sidney and cleaned out his fridge for him. He didn't want her to. He found the whole experience quite traumatic and wasn't his usual cheery self when he called. His voice gets all stressed and shakey, cause the only way to stop her when she gets like that is to have big knockdown melodramatic fight with her. Now she is feeling all powerful and confidence after bullying Sid. She'll want to come over to my place too. Damned if I know how I am going to stop her?

Maybe this weekend I will ask around some of the department stores about christmas relief, so that I can try and get out of this 'assumed' visit.

Edit: In all fairness I must admit, there was some stuff that has been in the fridge since 2002.