Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Eve

I put sliced up onion, garlic, mushroom, over ripe plum, mushroom and overripe eggplant with some red wine (merlot) and some beer corona) along with some dried basil and lo! ..... magic!!!!!

It tastes fantastic!
I don't really understand why?
I have consumed far too much champagne and merlot and fully expected it to be a horror of unmatched proportions - but it tastes AWESOME!

maybe I've just had too much to drink?

but really ...
AWESOME!

Also ... I am really enjoying the Shaun Micallaff (howeveritsspelt) thingie new years eve rave whateverthingie - very funny - wish I had that ... bugger ... forgot the name of that too! I fill such a dill ... coat thingie ... shapeless .... billy connelly hates beige versions of ... whatever, like his, very flattery, makes him look quite busty.

Edit: Cardigan

I meant caridgan
 
 Edit Edit:  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! *waves arms about like kermit the frog*
 
(actually I've run out of wine)

Ten Minutes to 20 minute wipeout

Perhaps the slow cooker was a bad idea?
Maybe I just need to buy smaller plates?
My stomach is overfull and aches.

Things I shall consider in the new year - pending that, I am awaiting the start of "Dinner for One" on SBS which I watch every New Years Eve with a bottle of champagne and attempt to keep up with the butler.

One day, one year, perhaps, I might have a group of friends to share this drinking moment with?  But probably not.  They'll probably have kids and babysitters cost a lot of money and someone has to stay sober to drive etc etc etc  Tis best alone.  That way nobody can see me giggle like a fool and fall over watching an old black and white film of a butler when he misses tripping on the tiger rug.  (is it a tiger?  am I not remembering right?  is it a lion? no i am sure it's a tiger.  fuckit.  it's a tiger if I frickin' say it's a frickin' tiger!)

It's a tiger.

Didn't get out of bed till past 11:30 am

the wet season has come
gushing
last night
full flood all through the yard and down the street
so loud I could not sleep
bang bang bang
hammering away on the tin roof
so i slept late
and wake
limp and exhausted

sigh

if only i were talking about something other than the weather

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Crumbs

Probably a good thing I was reading till 4 am last night.  My 87 year old neighbour (in our duplex) was robbed.   I found a can of beer in my backyard today.  So they were certainly over my side at some stage.


I did hear a shout but I thought it was the house across the road yelling at people in the park.  That happens frequently.  I went to the window and saw two young men sprinting away and giggling.  They stopped for a breather about four houses down. 

So my neighbour says a house (not the one next to us, but the next one) has been robbed twice in the last week.

My front door can be opened with a stiff piece of cardboard and the bolt and padlock is on the outside of the door. Think I should start wearing clothes to bed, ey? Maybe it's a good thing I have been letting myself go lately and am looking less than glamorous  :)

Not enough sleep - lacks coherence

forgive changes in posting routine?
combination of Christmas and Unemployment
my sleep patterns are arse about
my eyes are all blurry
stayed up till 4 am reading


sigh should be responsible
should go google jobs now I've thought of it
just in case
though it would be a funny week to advertise

i might have one more splurge today
before i stop spending money all together
might go see if I can find another season of the Muppet Show
or It Ain't Half Hot Mum
I am watching them alot
nostalgic comfort viewing?
a time when i did not have to make any decisions
and somebody else feed and sheltered me
possibly


we got up to about twenty cats/kittens at one time when i was growing up :)

an unfixed female cat trickily dumped on us by grandma
in guise of looking after it whilst she was away
and never collected
situation rapidly out of control
she had five kittens
her three female kittens had five kittens
et cetera et cetera et cetera

sixteen kittens and one small girl curled up on a bed
a surefire receipe for flees
it was bliss

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Puzzled

I have fallen prey to impulse.  I was doing so well!  Out searching through the shops for a new filter for my water jug and not buying all the other cool things I could have bought (I may go back and get that slow cooker through - it was only $20 - bargin)


But then it happened ... I have bought wax strips.  For some reason it suddenly seemed like a good idea to attempt waxing my legs for the first time in my life?  Why?  What was I thinking?  Melon & Peach fragrance?

Edit 6:19pm:  I went back and bought the slow cooker - $18 at checkout - doesn't have that immediate spurt of satisfaction playing with it though - won't be ready till past 9 pm.

Edit Edit 8:36pm:  ooooooo it was so yummmmmy - i have made a pig of myself - and i am very inept at this leg waxing business - stopped at me knees and i haven't actually done the back of my leg - i am going to go with Linus' line (peanuts character) who only shined the front of his shoes because he didn't care what people thought of him as he ws leaving a room.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Oh my goodness gracious me!

TWO updates from young Mr Kelly when I was expecting none.

I have stiffled my immediate urge to try and cut and paste his face onto fluffy haired dude of Van Halen and needs must email my friend, who thinks A Ron Cupples is the bees knees, immediately - as that photo is rather amusing.

Got up at 10 and need a nap already

Acompanied no longer pregnant sister to shops to look for buttoned shirts to facilitate breastfeeding.

Whenever a woman with a baby passed by she would lean in and whisper "ha! my baby is cuter than her baby".

lol

Edit:  she spake truth though ;)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Restless

Not at all sleepy, but drunk.  Hibiscus flowers in syrup added to cheap sparkling wine.  Would that I owned Kelly's Heros on DVD.  The adverts keep warning of sex scenes, but as yet are to deliver.

Will noone entertain me?

Watched mad cook create gastronomical excess (spelling crap sorry, can't be arsed to look it up) white chocolate doormice on sticks - very pratchett - love him too pieces - possibly his name is Hesson?  he is english.  caught another episode weeks ago involving jelly and vibrators.  recommend attempting to google him cause he was awesome - wish I had more details - deepest apologises if have lead astray or on goose chase.

Saw members of family today.  All mentioned first "didn't see you yesterday" - sigh - forgot the visitation demands of boxing day.

Is this a buston keaton movie?  it is black and white but there is speech.  Can't be.  Can it?

Wish I had Harvey on DVD.  Have only ever seen bits of it.  Think I would like it.  Think I would like to be drunk with a six foot rabbit for a friend.  Blossom-cat is quite friendly.  Just not mobile.  Can't take him to the shops with me.  Mary-Cat is on heat and sounds like a seagull in her frustration.

It is after 11 o'clock at night and what will I do? 

sigh

I shall turn off all the lights and put Lady Hawke or Princess Bride on and perhaps I shall fall asleep on flloor.  Sleep, per chance to dream - sigh

Dream Homes

I am finding this new version of adding and manipulating pictures to be troublesome.  The old way was better.

So ... dream homes.  I am not saying I'd be comfortable in these homes, necessarily.  Some I'd might want to make a smidgen bigger perhaps, or add veranders too and do some repairs, but when I think of dream homes, this is the kind of thing that springs to mind.

I think it indicates I read too much. 


I'd have to clear some of the plants and the arch windows on the ground floor would have white drifty curtains hanging over them.  Ground floor would be kitchen and dining/lounge.  Each floor of the tower would be a single room and the bedroom would be on the top floor.  I'd like some stained glass windows too, ta.

















I can see myself slouching about in saggy woollen jumpers and thick soled boots.












A dirt floor and mosquito nets and a kitchen table made from railway sleepers.














This little house is just perfect.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Sunday

I've gone and bought some dresses that don't fit me, but I liked them too much not to buy them.  First up is brown/yellow paisley -



Then there is this red/brown one -



Then there is this batic number - it's actually a wrap around skirt - I've had it for ages, but now I am too fat to wear a wrap around skirt.  It was an awesomely depressing day when I realised I was too fat for a wrap around skirt.

Thlen there is the dress that used to be my mothers - the stripey one - am not sure if it fits me.  It might in fact be too small for me.  I shall try it on tomorrow and if it fits, freak my mother out :)


Boxing Day Three - Awesome!

I've just realised - this is the first time since the arthritis first kicked in that I will be off work for the Hopman Cup.

The first time the arthritis made it's presents known I could not walk real good for about six months or so and got to laze about watching the Hopman Cup.  Marc Russo was partnered with Martina Hingis - it was one of her first professional tournaments - she was only 15 years old.  They were nearly even with their opponents - Goran Ivanisovich (sp?) and "I have no idea" and Marc was losing his temper during the decider mixed doubles match and punched the back wall and then had to retire because he'd broken a bone in his hand doing so.

Was the funnist thing I'd seen in months.
Had a crush on him for ages afterwards.

w00T!

I shall re-arrange the furniture and put the television in the bedroom for the event.

I remember the first time - I was having so much trouble with my feet - it took me nearly ten mintues to put my full weight on them in the mornings and then I was best off shuffling so as not to take my full weight off them again.  Little old ladies with walking frames were passing me in shopping centres.

I was making use of the benches for the first time in my life, waiting for my mother when she was in the shops as stopping-and-starting was the most difficult part for me.  Little old ladies would sit down and compare their injuries with me.  I would here soo many stories of daughters of friends with the same disease who were having their first joint replacement at age 23 or 24.

I cannot tell a lie.

I am kind of looking forward to this opportunity :)

Boxing Day Two

Disc one, season two of The Muphet Show failed to entice or entertain my nieces yesterday.  Microwave rice confection with too much chilli to taste - possibly a good thiing since I was solely responsible for the making of it and I am no cook.

Champagne with hibicus flowers that did not live up to advertisement - bottleshop dude said bubbles would make them open up in glass.

Doesn't.

Fucking hot.

It has rained, which has only made it more humid and not cooler.   Am watching "it ain't half hot mum".
Seemed appropriate.

Cats flaked out like melted lard on the floor - poor babies.

Sunflowers have gone to seed.  Am picturing rowes of sunflowers down fenceline from offspring.  Don't expect this will happen either.  Fuck a duck.  Lofty has fainted on "it ain't half hot mum" due to heat.  Maybe I shall faint too?

Alternativeey, perhaps I should picture myself frolicing in snow (which I've never seen) or perhaps instead go get myself another glass of champagne?

Cheers :)

Boxing Day One

So far, it is all amicable and pleasant. Was nice to the parents-in-law and they came to lunch.  Mother was elsewhere, so one hazard avoided. Eldest gets out of hospital today with baby. 

Mother is fragile.

The hotel original booked has gone down hill.  They have moved to another.  The bed is too hard.  The airconditioner blows directly on her which is hurting her eyes.  She is pale and weepy most of the time (though the weepy is because since having the catracts out her eyes are a bit sensitive).  It is making it tricky to judge her moods.

She gave me a microwave vegetable steamer for christmas.

Woken last night to frog screams.  Sudden downpour of rain and a young frog hazarded internal exploration.  There wasn't too much blood.  It was still hopping when I rescued it. Recovery my christmas wish.  Poor little frog.  The red and the green was quite christmasy. 

One small forboding-type comment from the parent, about having 'stuff' to organise Monday.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Two

Oh God Please
somebody take the rum balls away from me

I iz gunna explodez

Christmas One

What do you have for lunch in the humid tropics on Christmas Day with over mid-30's heat?

Why, roast pork cooked on the BBQ of course. 
What a silly question.

The beer is ice cold
*burp*

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Xmas Eve Night

My adoration of tour blogs solidified with this magificent offering from Jamie Hutchings of solo work and Bluebottle Kiss fame.  Such a glorious young man.  Makes one want to be a lone fan in a far off city with floor space *sigh*

(which i sort of am, but nobody ever comes here and they would have to be able to deal with the smell of kitty litter - though I am always happy to lend out my sister's homes and my brothers-in-law are all for cooking, so they would totally be set if they came - christ, I hope I don't have to build a fecking nightculb) 

An excellent Christmas present :)

Cheers

How awesome. Somebody in europe (no doubt very briefly) ended up on my blog with the search of "Bored at work Christmas Eve"

I am honoured.

Two and a Half Hours to go

Battling the near all consuming urge to just curse fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck in a repetitive stream of restless frustration.

Would that this day were over and the desk already clean and all the stuff I need to take home with me there already.

Along with an extension, landscaped yard and flyscreens which would be handy to have with the double-dengue outbreak.

Also I would like an tabby oriental cat.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas

Xmas Eve at work still

I have taken down all the Christmas decorations and am feeling somewhat more cheery now.

(i was asked to - because they are closed between christmas and new year and of the three cripples i am the most able to climb ladders - so it wasn't entirely due to grinchness)

... and on ...

Now the receptionist, who is two years off retirement, is singing Santa Claus is coming to town in a high, quavery with disuse, voice.

... and on ...

The blank walls are not painted with scenes of my inner disquiet.
They are just beige.

Xmas Eve continued

The lady whom I share an office space with has her loud voice on today, which would be fine but she also brought in her ipod.

Please, somebody, stab me in the ear with an ice pick.

Christmas Eve and I am blogging

The silence on the web today rather implies others actually having a life - darnit.

*pout*
*sad puppies eyes*
who is going to entertain me
*quivering lower lip*

I am going to end up writing mad things again, I can see it.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Oh my poor aching bones

I am moving boxes of pamphlets and books on bowels
Where is my knight in armour to take me away from all this?
Bastard is off in a pub getting pissed, isn’t he
ISN"T HE!

Fucker.

Bored bored bored

That way lies madness or so the sign says.
Wot about the other way then?
Don’t know. Doesn't say. Nobody has come back from either way.  Though I imagine it might be kind of hard to get away from madness once you are there. The roads are probably all crooked and turn in on themselves.
Maybe I should go the other way first. That way if I don’t like it I can always turn back.
What if, the other way is death? You wouldn’t be able to turn back then. Isn’t madness better than death?
I don’t know … I suppose it would depend on how long the road is.
You would still be without the option of turning back though once reaching the end.  Kind of limits one's choices.
Well same diff with the other way if you can't come back.
But technically you would still have the option of coming back because you are not dead.
Yes but technical isn't going to buy me a cup of tea, is it?  Technically an option doesn't mean diddly unless it is actually an option.
Who is to say it is only technically an option and not an actual option. We don't really know do we? Perhaps some people could and some couldn't?
So you are saying it depends on the individual.  An exceptional person could come back?  Are you an exceptional person?
I don't know?  Do you think I am an exceptional person?
Well we've only just met.  I shouldn't like to make a judgement, and indeed, who am I to judge?  You might be exceptional in comparison to some but not other's.  It's all relative.
Maybe we should just think about it for a while?  Would you like a cup of tea?
Lovely, yes.  Got any milk?
Sadly no.  No cows have passed this way.

Bush Week

There is no theme for this adventure
No eye patches or avasts
Only the ocean stretched out unendingly under mast

And I don’t know if I will ever come to the end
If there is an end
Or if this is it

Simply sailing solitary over sea seasons out and in

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Goodbye Present


This is the thing, people find out you have more than one kind of a type of pet and suddenly gifts received ever after are themed - however, having said that let me now say this:  I quite like it.

Photo didn't turn out so good.  It is a cat looking at a goldfish in a bowl.  Painted on porcelain, I think.  Recycled from somebodies jewellery box, I am nearly sure.  :)  the best kind of present

Edit:  they got it on ebay - i really need to learn how to do ebay - i never go near the thing afeared that I will lose control and end up buying tasmania or the harbour bridge.

Sunflowers








I didn't fiddle with this photo by the way - this is just the way it turn out :)

Daydreaming

This is what I imagine for myself on days like today - though with a verandah bigger than the house wrapped around and a hammock.

Though this is way cool too - I wish I were handy so I could build this myself :)


Compliments

Director tidying up a few things before holidays.
Shirt and shorts.
In on day off. 

Thanks me for all my hard work.
Says they really want to employ me if a vacancy occurs.
Tells me how great I am.

Noice.

(I always think I am a bit shit - it's always nice when somebody else tells you  you are great)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Crivens

female on scooter pulls up at home
drives up driveway and stops at gate
put the foot down and unlatchs gate
walks scooter through whilst cooing to waiting cats
my petunia, my pigeons
Still wearing red helmet
but with front uncatched and lifted up
she walks to the mail box
to see what is what
she has mail.
she reaches in to pick up letter
gecko dashes out of the way
from the lid to the front and safety.
Okay
Fine
Breathe

Reaches for letter again
Second gecko
larger
has spac attack
is on underside of letter as is lifted and leaps
leaps potentially to safety
i am sure that was its plan
leaps on female
comical scene eonsures of gecko running up and down legs of trouser wearing female attempting to stop it from getting higher with letter blocking way, obviously worried if gecko goes higher it might run up shirt which is untucked

gecko refuses to run to ground

female tries to keep cats from seeing gecko whilst guarding openings in clothing and contemplating the humiliation that would be the case if gecko run up shirt and female was forced to strip in front yard screaming like a wuss

gecko worryingly and magicially disappears.
Female can see nowhere

perhaps on back?
steps back to tree
offering peaceful out if such is the case

no sign of the gecko

the whereabouts of the gecko remains unknown
the clothes i was wearing were rapidly ditched into the laundry basket once the front door was unlocked

Family

My new niece Caitlyn Rose is a very pretty baby. She will have chubby toddler cheeks which fade back into high cheekbones and a delicate pointed chin. She has her fathers ears and her mother's hair.

She is a quiet baby (so far) and I was present for her first whinge.

I declined the offer to hold her. 
She is too little.

Monday Afternoon

Monday drag
turning my brain to lead
weighing me down
slumped at my desk
crumpling into myself
compressed
no diamonds here

Dan Kelly Blog updated

AhHA! so we have the award winning Bernadette manager extraordinaire to thank for the continued Dan Kelly blog updates - if I were not such an organisation wreck I would send her a christmas present - i could still send one and pretend it went astray in the postal strike? - what would i send her? - i could send her a crate of mangoes but i don't know if she likes them - they are selling boxes of them for 99c by the side of the road here - my sister once sent my mother a crate of mangos, but they didn't arrive - we all thought the delivery people had given in to temptation and eaten them - but then two months later a box of rancid rotting fruit was delivered - they had just lost them in the back of a warehouse for a bit.

I haven't sent anybody any presents
I haven't even bought all the nieces and nephew their presents yet and may just end up giving them money since I have lost the two page list of potential presents that my 11yr niece gave me

I am particularly feckless this year

Perhaps I should get "stop being a feckless idiot" tattooed on my arm as a reminder for in future?

Aye Currumba

My left nipple is itchy. Either something has become caught in the lace of my bra or perhaps a thread is loose.

I am going to have to go to the bathroom and sort this out.

Repeatedly plunging my hand down my bra at work probably doesn't look very professional.

Edit:  It was a bit of cat claw (cats claws have layers that they shed periodically as their claws grow) - 'smy own fault for not putting the clean clothes away - a basket of clean clothes is a temptation to cats - probably if I put them away after taking them off the line I'd stop getting cat fur in my underpants too.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Need a vampire boyfriend

As mentioned previously, I have become a pestilently frequent blogger because nothing is happening and I have nothing to say.

Why however, you might ask, am I blogging at 9 pm on a Sunday night?

Because it is *33 degrees inside my digs and I don't have airconditioning. It is making me regret my decision to make this weekend alcohol free.  I don't expect it will start to cool down until 1 or 2 am.

I am watching the Muphet Show (dvd) and contemplating the lack of ice in my fridge.  Why didn't I put a bottle of water in the freezer this afternoon, so that I could cuddle it to sleep tonight?  What was I thinking?  Nothing obviously.  Why haven't I been starving myself and riding the darn pushbike all this time?  Perhaps I might have lost enough weight that my thighs wouldn't meet.  My crotch is a sauna.  I need corsetts for my thighs or some kind of cooling system fitted.  Why can't I be a proper alcoholic?  They all look stick thin.  Bet they aren't getting sweat rashes in uncomfortable places. 

grumble grumble mutter

*(90ish degrees in fahrenheit)

w00t!

water broke
no contractions yet
preggy sister off to hospital
i get to meet my new niece soon

well soonish

Edit 4:55pm:  no further news - maybe tomorrow?

Edit Edit:  hahahaha so it turns out that just as I was typing my first edit, little Caitlyn was being born.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Surprised myself

I could not be polite.

Pregnant sister's parents-in-law (the father who said would build the extension to house, but has now been persuaded by his wife not to finish what he has started and is now only working till is lockable) were at the BBQ.  Pregnant sister has paid for mother-in-law's change of flight and they are staying till 11 January,.   

I couldn't look at them. 
I couldn't speak to them.

Mother-in-law who sat and sneered at last bbq was all happy and chatty this time.

I finished eating and left.

My mother is due to arrive Tuesday.  Mother's hobby in her retirement is fighting with people.  I don't think she feels like she has had a good day unless she has made a waitresses cry.

The family gathering on Christmas Day is going to be terrific.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Just because

MY SCOOTER IS WORKING!!!!!*11

my brother-in-law was over in the light and fiddled about and replaced the battery and we put more petrol in and he messed about with the spark plug and IT STARTED!

sooooo pleased

I immediately puttered off to fill her up and though I had thought I had a good day or so of fuel left when I filled up it took nearly $6.00 worth of fuel, which is very unusual.  What the fuck is going on with my scooter?  If it's sucking fuel away at this rate perhaps I did just run out?  I am totally never going to admit that as a possibility to anybody.  It was freakish.  The only time I've ever managed to put $6.00 worth of fuel into that machine was when the prices were up round $1.30 ish.

bounce bounce bounce
I can go out to breakfast tomorrow :)  I shall eat eggs benedict and drink tea and read and perhaps that lovely young french boy is still being a waiter at the cafe I like and will say sank you.

The vagrants at the Mall were standing at the Taxi rank this afternoon, so I walked down to the cinema and called a taxi to pick me up from there.  I don't mind drunken vagrants that ask for money, or tell you their life stories, but I don't like being heckled when I can't understand what they are saying.  They stand in a confrontaional spot and make trouble for the taxi drivers.  Saw one woman chasing after a taxi shrieking stuff and decided to make alternate plans.  I am a chicken weiner.  I know.

The taxi driver that dropped me at work yesterday fancied himself as a sit down comedian.  Why did the banana go to see the doctor?  Because he wasn't peeling well *groan*

It isn't happening

Have been at Christmas Lunch. 

I know I said I was going to write something worth reading today, but I also know that you know what an unreliable person I am.  All talk and very little action.  Preferably no action in fact.  And certainly at present much more inclined to take a nap.

Also not it

Bhahahahahahaahahahahaha
i love this site

funny 1

This isn't it either

but isn't this a lovely phrase?
"I love them like the dark loves its stars. Constantly. With no exceptions."

It's from BHJ entry for today.

Cheery Good Morning

I am wearing a dress with a shirt under it because the dress has singlet straps and I didn't want to flash at work and the dress is green and the shirt is red which is quite christmasy since it is the work christmas lunch today but it is 26 degrees in the office and I've just walked a block to pick up a large coffee and now I am sweating like a pig and have sweated all my makeup off and I was actually looking quite nice this morning, darnit.

Good Morning, bye the way :)

My little brother called me for his birthday to wish me happy birthday for last week last night.

I bought myself a new pillow. With a firm foam core, apparently. Goes well with my hard as nails mattress. Was lovely sleep last night. I love my mattress. It took some getting used to. I woke up feeling bruised in the beginning. But I can read a book in bed with a cup of coffee on the mattress next to me and move without the coffee spilling. It is awesome.

I promise to try and write something worth reading sometime today. This isn't it. In case you were wondering. Though obviously reading anything I write is a gift of fucking gold, right? Right?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

3rd Thursday of December

woke to a foul mood
lady giving lift to work txted sick
took taxi
to not busy office
staff out back also in foul mood
left over from earlier week incident
and subsequent yesterday meeting
half pulled out of christmas lunch tomorrow
what would you?
but sit at my desk and stew with nothing to do

Searching Poems

Too Lazy to be ambitious - by Ryokan


Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.

Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.

Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out.

- this is just lovely - I think I shall print it out and blue-tac it to my microwave

Chasing my own tail

I have a ritual/routine for New Years Eve.  I buy myself a bottle of nice champagne, perhaps even strawberries or strawberry liquor and I sit down and watch "Dinner for One" on SBS and try and keep up with the butler. 

Then I usually have to go have a lie down, cause finishing a bottle of champagne in half an hour makes a girl a little dizzy and then I sleep through the fireworks.

Not sure how long parent is going to be here, if she comes.  I know I was told.  I think I've blocked it out - lol.

Have to work on ways to get out of a family NYE if she is here.  It is the one thing I will not compromise on.  I like to have my New Years Eves to myself.  I think back over the past year.  Perhaps have a little cry.  Try and put myself into a positive mindset for the coming year.  New Years Eve is important to me.

Sometimes I find passive smoking soothing.  I put this down to my parents and other family all being smokers when I was growing up.  I am considering investing in a packet of cigarettes or cigars for this next few weeks, to burn like incense. 

Usually I have a wading pool for Christmas day, but there is a dengue fever outbreak here and that would be the height of foolishness.  The mosquito inspectors would crucify me.  It was front page again today.  They found 2000 breeding sites on 500 properties.  I cannot help but think that a bout of dengue fever would be a fitting cap to my year.

Note to self:  buy insect repellent.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wednesday

I've logged on half a dozen times this morning with the intent to write an entry, but I have nothing. 

Christmas looms with dark dire doom and forboding.  They are going to have games at the office Christmas lunch.  My suggestion of a dunce hat to be awarded and worn at end of each round was disregarded.

I have done nothing about my transport issues, but my brotherinlaw is going to pop over sometime with a battery charger to see if that is the issue. 

Work is still, stultifying and stupifying.  The radio on my desk fuzzy and slightly off station, playing easylistening hits.

The book I am reading is great and sits on my desk in edge of sight calling 'read me read me', but I am at work and that would be a very bad idea. 

Temperature at my desk is 26.2.  My shirt is an aubergine colour.  I am wearing old tatty discoloured underwear of which the elastic is losing it's dominance and my right shoe feels like it is broken inside.  As do I.  Boredom is not good for me.

I remembered to put the rubbish out, but forgot to turn off the sprinkler last night and this morning my backyard is a quagmire.  The dengue mosquitoes will be happy. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Snoopy dance of joy

oh my ... next installment of the Dan Kelly album blog is up

just makes you want bake him cookies, doesn't it?

lol

The ever so wonderful Sam Brown of Exploding Dog would appear to be in a funny kind of mood today?

Monday, December 14, 2009

something i learnt over the weekend

it is very hard to put petrol from a jerrycan into a scooter if you don't have a funnel

we were going to test to make sure my scooter hasn't just run out of petrol before I tried to find somebody to fix it

Pigmy Poem for Jamie

If I were a pigmy
Would life be more easy?
Men hunting
Birds and elephants and monkeys
Women gathering
Roots, mushrooms, nuts and berries
And we would worship the forest as the great giver of life
And hold open group discussions when there was internal strife

It sounds good, doesn’t it?
But I’m not sure it would make up for being short.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Bad Idea

I have no spine
or perhaps too electic a humour, ey?
his friend from work
an older man sixties or seventies
tipsy
settled beside me when he was gone and said
"my friend likes you"
all singsong
in a knowing teasing way
childlike gleeful
and waited for a response
I said, "I can tell"
*sigh*
he's a christmas nut
dressed up in short santa suit with gifts
because his dad used to always do that every year
i had not the heart to decline carols

it is totally not my kind of thing

Saturday, December 12, 2009

December is a troublesome month

one of the cats
i hope it is just one
has taken to pissing next to the toilet
which is sort of cute
but mostly not

Morning after

please make the hangover go away
i meant to be productive today

Happy Birthday

I love the way conversations range

we went from aimless boredom to chasing ice-cream cars, to rock throwing, to children killed by trains whilst throwing rocks, to police, to sex education. Women in an office are entertaining.

I've been listening to paul simons, willie nelson, rufus wainwright and i really realy like kodachrome as a song.

I've indulged in one of those six pack of shots that you see in bottle shops.

i don't feel so well anymore
good night
sweet dreams
and may all your opposite partners be dressed inappropriately :D

Edit: opposite partners is kind of a dead phrase now, isn't it - should have just been partners - forgive me - i don't even remember typing it in the first place - i don't know why i thought it was a good idea to drink six shots after a bottle of wine - probably they weren't very strong shots anyway though, cause there was no vomiting and i wasn't really all that hungover today anyway - just tired

Friday, December 11, 2009

Youtube

I am thinking that her shoes were not conducive to dancing and that this is one of the more gooderer versions I've heard, even though they miss the first verse or two

Okay - I'm convinced

Drinking - by Abraham Cowley

The thirsty earth soaks up the rain,
And drinks and gapes for drink again ;
The plants suck in the earth, and are
With constant drinking fresh and fair ;
The sea itself (which one would think
Should have but little need of drink)
Drinks ten thousand rivers up,
So filled that they o’erflow the cup.
The busy Sun (and one would guess
By’s drunken fiery face no less)
Drinks up the sea, and when he’s done,
The Moon and Stars drink up the Sun :
They drink and dance by their own light,
They drink and revel all the night :
Nothing in Nature’s sober found,
But an eternal health goes round.
Fill up the bowl, then, fill it high,
Fill all the glasses there—for why
Should every creature drink but I ?
Why, man of morals, tell me why ?

Presents from people who don't know me

I'm just not a little glass blown angel kind of girl

Happy birthday to me

to nervy to blog :)

I'll be fine once I've had the interview - besides its more the lass at the office driving me nuts

she has switched into hyper teasing mode these last couple of weeks, because work has hit pre-christmas slowdown and she is going to miss me, but since I am already tense about mother's visit, getting older, my scooter breaking down, up coming unemployment, the unfortunate early school years which have left me over-sensitive to teasing ... her teasing at me on top of it all is not helpful.

my beloved 88 year old neighbour Ted also has an enlarged (cancerous?) prostate and is heading in for operations early february.

i wish i could tape her mouth shut with duct tape

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Dan Kelly crossed with 80s Jon Bon Jovi.


I think this may even be more fun then deleting him - it's certainly cheering me up anyway :) If only I had photoshop and photoshop skillz! Who knows what I could do *cackles like witch*




Confess

I chickened out of the bike ride.

I figured something terrible would happen like a puncture or the chain would get wedged between the cogs and the frame again or something.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Ambivilant (sp?)

Okay - it's something, even if it ain't a blog - and I've not deleted him from myspace even though my scooter stalled a block from the local supermarket and wouldn't start again and I had to push it back home approximately eight blocks, but ...



















... I can't deny - I am currently more interested in the band "Khancoban" allegedly using the term "cluster fuck" in a song. It is one of my favourite words that I don't say.

Edit: GoD I hope it starts in the morning. I shall have to get up at 5:30 so that if it don't I have time to pushbike to work and shower and stuff. I've not riden to work before. If I don't post by 10 am tomorrow it means I died in the attempt.

Edit Edit: do you know - I think this may be the third year in a row, of the four i've been back home, that my scooter has broken down on or within days of my birthday. Do you suppose my mum put a curse on me because I refuse to move back in with her?

Edit Edit Edit: cola showers?

Affirmation

it has been an unnice day and quiet
a quite unhappy day all round
i will be better tomorrow

one of my three sunflowers is starting to flower
i will take a picture

i shall eat cool coleslaw in the summer heat
i shall read more of a book
i will pat my cats and feed them

and they will purr
and headbutt my hand with narrow-eyed affection
tomorrow will be a better day

Sharing an Office

Okay. She isn't singing, but ... she is googling graduation photographs of local schools and laughing at the girls dresses. She is frowning at some girls in Ingham wearing maxi-dresses.

shoot me, please someone

Edit: oh god - now she is reading out bad jokes

Q: What was the greatest achievement of early romans?
A: Learning latin.

Q: What is a stand alone computer system?
A: It doesn't come with a chair (and then she snorted with laughter)

Q: What does Varicose mean?
A: Close by

Edit Edit: and now she has sent an email out to the whole office about my birthday, which I told her not to do - aye currumba.

Wednesday - Bored Again

Well. Still no update. Still a very quiet week. Still not got a lot to keep me occupied. So here is another cut n paste job on dan kelly.

Maybe I should add a beak?

G'morning

I wonder, if when zombies go back to being dead, if they are dead harder?

When I wake up in the mornings and then go back to sleep it's like I've been knocked unconscious, I sleep so hard.

Perfect sleeping weather at the moment. For me anyway. Ceiling fan on medium. At around 6:00/6:30 I wake and reach for the blanket to keep my feet warm. Temperature around the 25 degree mark. Bliss.

Which is why I may not be writing anything of moment at the moment - I am still a little groggy from sleep - I feel like a Zombie.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Next Blog

I've been hitting the "next blog" button and came across this entry, which I think is rather lovely :)

Dilema

So ... I've been invited to somebody else's Christmas Party. What should I wear?

For my own work Christmas parties I am inclined to have the Christmas logo t-shirt, bells in my ears and tinsel and baubles in my hair and/or round my neck. Potentially also on my shoes.

Probably I should be a little more respectable at somebody else's work Christmas Party though ey?

I shall have to go shopping.

Monday, December 7, 2009

I love the ABC

Old soldiers fenced away
back in uniform from olden days

and they don't remember the people they were with
with all due respect, sir
don't smoke around me

and the tailor is hard at work
make sure things fit

Chelsey old age pensioners

he saved my life, that Jimmy Townsend
but he don't remember

Divine - You Tube Clip

You think you're a man, but you're only a boy

How Fabulous

My adoration of Mr Wagon's (completly unaided by actually having listened to any of his music) is solidified with this "link".

(I've listened to good town and bits and pieces of stuff - I still haven't ordered his cd yet - I am so disorganised and shit with money - and I can't get to JB HiFi without risking life and limb as all the surrounding roads are 70 kph and my poor little inadequately serviced scooter will only go about 55 kph tops)

Oh God

The woman I am sharing an office with was butchering "killing me softly" and singing the words wrong on purpose and is now inflicting the "a-num-a-nut" song on me.

but not the whole song
only the same couple of lines over and over and over again

somebody kill me

Is this karma for the dan/divine picture?

Justice is swift and harsh.

Bored bored bored

I cannot tell a lie.

I've been a little bored today.

Few people update or chat on a Monday and Dan Kelly hasn't updated his album blog, so to keep myself occupied I've been trying to cut and paste his head onto Divine's body (drag queen from eighties I think - was in a movie called Lust in the Dust and I think had a number one here in Australia - must see if I can find a clip for that this evening). I only have paintbrush and I've never been very adept at the cuttin' n' pastin' anyway, so the skin tones don't match too good.

I've also discovered I am not very good at drawing makeup on photos.

(Normally I think boys in makeup look quite cute, but I would like to encourage DK to never dress up as a woman)

Argh

I know I am a very silly person
(I can hear the air whistling through my ears sometimes)
but is not this one of the more marvelous things eva to be found on the net?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Dr Who

HOW FANTASTIC WAS DR WHO TONIGHT!!!!!!! W00t!

*sigh* and The Master is back for the next one - i LOVE The Master (i thought for sure she was going to shoot him in the back for a bit there and start the next change)

BUT HOW DOES HE KNOW!!!!!


Gosh - I feel soo guilty now :(

*puts domestic hat on and goes to sweep house for bugs and secret cameras*

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Saturday Night, and I ain't got no curry

I've pigged out on Thai Green Chicken Curry and been rude to a scruffy young man who said he was from holland, but whom sounded like he was more like from the western suburbs of Sydney.

Dark street. Angle parked cars. Scooter parked in the no parking zone. Lone portly female in singlet top loading up scooter.

Scruff: Can you tell me where Kelman is?
Me: No, sorry.
Scruff: Are you from around here?
Me: Not really.
Scruff: I'm from holland and don't know my way around. Where do you live?
(Friend of scruff who looks like he is on drugs says something incoherent. Possibly attempting to sound like he was talking in swedish or something)
Me: Over thataway (waves hand vaguely to left)
Scruff: Where's that?
Me: *names suburb* whilst continuing to put food and bag away and get helmet
Scruff: So how do I get there?
Me: Where?
Scruff: *names suburb*
Me: Follow the main road
Scruff: Which road is that then?
Me: Look I'm not very good with directions. Ask somebody else. Have a nice night.
(puts helmet on whilst ignoring scruffy dude and wishing that scooter would start properly but knowing it probably won't)
Scruff: Yea. I can see that. Don't have an accident.

I should have been more assertive earlier in the exchange - but I am not in a talkative mood - however if I'd gone with whole sentences earlier, such as "No I don't know where Kelman is. I don't know my way around. I'm sorry I cannot assist you. You should ask somebody else." Then potentially all further communication could have been avoided.

Of course, potentially not, but it would have meant I wasn't the first person being rude in such an ambiguous exchange. I probably haven't managed to convey how creepy and pushy he was being. Like a hard sell telstra salesperson except in a dark parking lot.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Oh Crumbs

It's as if I knew in all my unknowing
sigh
waited an hour and a half outside the wrong venue
I am, indeed, a very bad aunty

Friday Afternoon Brain Death

... and afternoon rolls on its inevitable and ineffable course, as we struggle to reason our daily shuffle of food work food work food tv snack sleep, wherefore? why for? I no longer care, for a gentleman of the office has just circulated distributing chocolate to all

Coffee Exchange

Barista: Is your office was closing down over the Christmas break?

Me: Yes, but my contract was up then anyway. I'm back to looking for work again. Townsville is a weird place to be unemployed in.

Barista: You'll just have to use your powers of cuteness to find a new job.

seven days till my birthday

Dreams and Hope

I feel like I should write a short essay on hope and hopelessness, but I wouldn't know how to; and indeed don't actually have anything to say on the subject, except the bulk of people who accidentially land here through google searches (and don't stay) are seeking on this subject.

Except for the person who searched on "Townsville Saddle Makers".

Must not forget! I am supposed to be going to watch my niece in her play tonight. She has a speaking role. I would be a very bad aunt indeed, if I forgot to go.

Was having a daydream this morning - it was set a couple of years in the future - i had actually followed through with my plan to be slim and fit for my fortieth birthday - i was meeting up with friends from the augie march forum at a gig - don't know who was playing - some young thing had started chatting me up in the foyer and came over to me again when I was chatting with friends to ask if i wanted a drink - i said no, that was fine, i already had my bottle of water - then i said to him "you do realise, I am old enough to be your mother, don't you?" - and he leans forward and whispers into my ear "bitty"(link to a bitty sketch)

lol - bloody little britian - i caught just a little bit of that one skit this week and it has invaded my dreams

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thinkin' stuff

I wish I were asleep
.
The stuff I have to keep me occupied is uninspiring
Just the kind of thing I would enjoy doing
if I had my headphones on
darnit
.
keep forgetting to look for them
Took them home the last time
I was expecting to be finishing
and am not sure where I put them
.
It is my own fault
.
Perhaps this means I subconsciously hate myself?
And am torturing myself for fun?
.
In which case ...
I should be having a cracking time
and cackling into my keyboard

Argh

i am all crank today
sweat and crossness
lady who has me doing ladder work
(of the three of us cripples,
I am the most fit for ladder climbing
- lol)
was hovering
whilst I was up the ladder
and giving suggestions
i don't like people standing that close
or behind me
perhaps i have watched too many prison movies?

Edit: i've put my hair back with combes at the sides and applied some red lippy to spark myself up and my supervisor says i look very betty boop today - eight more days till my birthday

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Pictures of stuff


Some of my garden








































It was only when I started taking photos, that I realised how empty it all looked, even though before it seemed crammed with colour. The dude who was here doing interviews for a mass recruitment who said his department's was better, may have had something to do with my change of opinion. I am feeling very very competitive about this. It is like squibs guess the poet all over again. I fully intend to be at work by 7am to clean up (boss is visiting tomorrow) and add to our christmas collection.

I MUST WIN!

Argh

attention span of retarded goldfish today
head fuzzy and misty inside
sick of christmas decorations
assembling cardboard folders
sweating at desk
had forgotten whilst away
Townsville offices are either freezing cold or hot
didn't win on scratchies
sob
they make me do all the bits that require going up the ladder
I am gopher
hear me chitter

nine days till my birthday

I am totally not having children

Last night my eldest niece was high from teenage telephone adrenaline rush. One Hundred and Three minutes. She said it was a record. It was like she'd been drinking real coke-a-cola (they are usually only allowed to have diet free fruit flavoured softdrink).

The second you are disapproving of her for something, she behaves worse. She has always had a gift for meanness. She is an approval junkie, but not a doormat and will defiantly declare she doesn't care and then really give you something to be displeased with.

Having her psycho on the phone is more pleasant than coping with her attention at present.

I, possibly ill-advisedly, suggested that she shouldn't use language like that when in public after she was jovially telling one of her friends on the phone to 'shut their hole', so she responded that she was at home and not in public and if I didn't like it I could leave. If she starts saying 'kiss my clit' I am so totally out of there.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tis the season 2

I have great admiration and interest in doers. I am no doer. I do not move and shake. People who are selfless enough to contribute to the greater good or selfish enough to lock themselves away and create marvelous things are equal and adored in my eyes.

Today, making colourful chains of paper, I was reminded of how much I do not enjoy making things. I have no patience. It bores and annoys me. I become sullen and sour.

Is my love of intricatly drawn pictures only strong because I know I would go mad myself trying to draw one? Love inspired by envy?

I made small, drawn decorations and the other lady made large straightforward ones. There is rather a lot more of hers than mine and hers look better (I am still fond of mine) - pictures tomorrow evening :)

Tis the season ...

It is the first of December and we are decorating the office.

We have gone with handmade from mostly scrap paper. The paper has been altered. We are not purists. A lot of glitter and paint has also been involved.

My supervisor has arranged a giant vase of flowers (halyconias - sp?) and painted glitter on cicardas which have then been strategically placed amongst the fronds.

Ladders have been climbed. Fingers glued. Tape mangled scissors.

It looks quite festive.

I forgot to bring my camera. Will take photos tomorrow :)

I want a box

More words of wisdom from Exploding Dog.















Truly, he is a prophet or the messiah.
Beats worshiping a sandal anyway.

That's a reference to the movie Life of Brian, if you didn't know, though probably you did, cause it's an awesome movie.

Ten days till my birthday

Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday night

It is too hot to even think about eating (though my cats disagree with me - hark? I hear scratching at the door - STOP RIPPING MY DOOR TO FUCKING SCHREDS YOU FUCKING FELINE!)

The night is still ( EXCEPT FOR THE FUCKING CAT! - will you STOP scratching at the door?! There's already a hole in it. Bloody cats)

I am going to go re-read the bit in Eclilpse where Bella wakes up all bruised after her wedding night with Edward, cause it's kind of hot and it's been along time and probably the last time doesn't count cause there wasn't penetration which means its been sevenish years celibate and I am about to turn 38 which means the last time I had actually fullblown sex I was mostly unconscious and technically I should have had a hissy fit about the episode, but like, it was novel, and he stole my stockings (?!wtf). Nobody has evern felt the urge to steal my small clothes before. I can't be angry. Italic

Talking for the sake of talking maybe

The little bit of the blogging world I stray into is very quiet on a Monday and sadly I do nothing to lift the bar. I am sitting sweating in my little corner of the office because I was so foolish as to actually move. The temperature is exactly right for woman( edit: fuckarseshit, I meant women, darnit) who sit still at a desk working on a computer or answering telephones and not much good for anything else.

I am not sure how our Christmas Decoration making went on the weekend. The lass I was working with called in sick for the movie yesterday and work today, so I've not had opportunity to look them over in the cold light of day.

Eleven more days till my birthday.

Good Morning :)

In my imaginary world, I stayed under covers reading till 8 am rather than disturb the cats so nicely curled at foot and side and near bookcase top at 7 o'clock.

In my imaginary world, I ate beautifully cut up fruit and toast in a chair outside in the shade with a view of lush green leaves and flowers instead of coffee in a paper cup and a cold apple muffin.

And after breakfast, in my imaginary world, I read the paper and sipped tea.

sigh

I know where I would rather be.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Holy Mother of God

What the hell?

I went to check my internet prepaid balanced to see how much of the $100 I'd used up and it reckons I've $198! Checked the little inbox and it mentions something about double data allowance. What? Why? When? If I'd known before hand I'd have only put $50 on. I can't use up $200 worth of internet in 30 days.

Crivens.

They are taunting me.
It's a conspiracy!

*wanders off muttering*

lol


















I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?
lol - I love exploding dog

Sunday Summer Afternoon

sleepy-eyed I sit
cats splayed out and scattered like used socks
it is starting to get warm

the ceiling fan pushes air over sweat soiled hair
humid moist air
its like I'm enveloped in my childhood security blanket
or a hug that never goes away

possibly a slightly sweaty hug, but thats okay

Friday, November 27, 2009

I have home internet again - w00t!

I have just started thinking about Christmas and how to make it nice. I realise we need outdoor games. Crochet. Boules. French Cricket. Need to keep people moving and occupied. It is the only way to get through it. This is the only fortnight I will have money (which I shouldn't actually be spending because it is also the only chance I have of making a dent on my credit card, but like, whatever, right? fuckit).

Myself and a lass at work are getting together tomorrow to make christmas decorations for work which will be sneered at by most and possibly gain us glory in offices down south. I am aiming for the glory. The faults in my nature which make it impossible for me to stop guessing poets before Squib remembers the one she is trying to remember have ascendance - I WANT TO WIN! Sustainable and environmentally friendly decorations. I shall make myself a crown from scrap paper.

Caught a glimpse of Better Homes and Gardens on telly. Somebody visit and dig up a patch of my lawn and make me a draughts board from pavers for Christmas. Please.

I shall hide some money away for Christmas presents for my kitties. They shall have smoked salmon for Christmas lunch (and perhaps tins of crab meat and lobster for other times around then - I should freeze some fish, eh?)

They charged me for fixing all the things they broke during the other services on my scooter. I wish I had such moxy. I'd go far.


or be in jail


I have trouble using the rubber rails on escalators because it occurred to me one day that one could easily and discretely place razors dipped in sewerage held with chewing gum under the rim and probably security cameras wouldn't even pick you up. Isn't it a good thing I am not an angry person and have such a stick up my arse about honour.

Edit: I have a dreadful craving for pineapple fritters now :(

Friday Afternoon Adventures

Dear Gingatao,

I have googled your Oodgeroo and while I am happy to concede to her greatness, I am finding her a little depressing.

Municipal Gum by Oodgeroo Noonuccal

Gumtree in the city street,
Hard bitumen around your feet,
Rather you should be
In the cool world of leafy forest halls
And wild bird calls

Here you seems to me
Like that poor cart-horse
Castrated, broken, a thing wronged,
Strapped and buckled, its hell prolonged,
Whose hung head and listless mien express
Its hopelessness.
Municipal gum, it is dolorous
To see you thus
Set in your black grass of bitumen--

O fellow citizen, What have they done to us?

In other news, I finally remembered to phone the scooter place since they haven't called me about the speedo cable that they were ordering in to replace the one that took leave of absence when the "screw fell out" the afternoon they changed my tyres.

I rang them because ever since the first service there has been an issue with refueling. In that it is overflowing out the bottom when I fill up and I am a little worried I might set my scooter on fire one of these days.

I rang them at lunchtime and they asked if I could bring it in now.

Perhaps they were worried I might set it on fire too?

They think that a hose has "come loose" from the fuel tank or something. No doubt the "hose coming loose" after the service is mere coincidence. I am curious to see how much they are going to charge me for this. I am finding it all quite amusing. I have been cursed ever since I left Sydney, but I refuse to give in. Bring it on, I say.

Googling Chick Poets

Since TSFKA isn't doing a poetry friday, I have gone googling for my fix myself. Quite like this :)

If Death is Kind - Sara Teasdale

Perhaps if Death is kind, and there can be returning,
We will come back to earth some fragrant night,
And take these lanes to find the sea, and bending
Breathe the same honeysuckle, low and white.

We will come down at night to these resounding beaches
And the long gentle thunder of the sea,
Here for a single hour in the wide starlight
We shall be happy, for the dead are free.

So far they have all been about death though?

Do not stand at my grave and weep - Mary Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Fell off my wagon

*ahem*

You know yesterdays list of things to do? I got a haircut.

Moseyed around shops, but couldn't find anything I wanted to buy. It was frustrating. Then I bought myself a bottle of wine and ruined myself for the evening.

I never manage restraint after a period of abstinence. Am hungover. But this is good! Sort of. Because I have absolutely no urge to drink now and I am back on my no drinking kick.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning (as I tend to do if I drink), so impulse took control of my legs and I wandered out to my hammock for further kippin'. It was lovely outside. Michael-Cat hopped into the hammock with me (which he has never done before) and there was loving and patting and cuddling and sleeping and it was a lovely way to start the day.

I may do it again tomorrow :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Oh dear

hum ... contemplation of options and preferances

would prefer not to be at work
but it is not an option

Edit: I have three and a half hours flex and am taking the rest of the afternoon off - woo-hoo! it is good to consider your options :D

what shall i do?

I've had a pie for lunch
am going to look at shops
going to look at paper
going to buy glitter and glue and ribbons and cat food and kitty litter and food and perhaps some drink? maybe

i shall have to make multiple trips cause ize only gotz a little scooter

go home
clean kitty litter
mop some floor (around the kitty litter trays)
clean cat bowls (that cat food gravy sets like glue)
clean floor under cat bowls (messy bastard cats)

buy myself a present

bye bye darling ones

Giggling

Highly amused by this poem

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Twenty-Seven Minutes to go

It's times like these that I remember I wouldn't do very well in solitary confinement.

I frequently daydream about a little house in the country and no neighbours and at times like this I realise that perhaps that wouldn't be such a good idea afterall.

Though admittedly this is after I've won the lotto and have a kick arse garden to keep me busy and a large netted dome with jungle like interior with trees for the cats to safely roam in and a computer and paytv, so maybe I wouldn't go stir crazy afterall.

Twenty minutes to go

oh for heavens sake

this is a distressingly quiet day
*sob*
i can't work like this
i need to be busy

Edit: my brain with half an hour to go -

Is it a case of kill or be bored to death?

Policeman asks why I threw the chair threw the door and then stabbed a passer by with an arm sized slice of glass.

Well I had nothing else to do.

I’d been googling all day and we’d compared movie actors we thought were cute and then, well, what was I supposed to do next? You tell me?

... backpedalling

Which is not to say there is anything wrong with Townsville. Townsville is lovely. Look here is a photo.











Though admittedly the hill looks a bit suspect in this photo.

Its only Wednesday

I am quite bursting with frustration.

no no, not that kind of frustration - sheesh - one track mind already what

I don't want to be at work
I don't want to be in Townsville
I want to go shopping
I want ...

It's because I have been without spare cash for nearly six weeks now. It gets to me. It makes me feel edgy. It makes me feel trapped. All the things I like to do are money dependant.

Gardening isn't money dependant, well might you say

Perhaps not, but establishing a garden is.

Library's are free, you might say next

I fucking hate libraries. They give me the heebie-jeebies. They never have the books I want either anyway and even if they did I would probably need to go on a waiting list and I am sure I have previously established patience is not one of my strong suits.

Family is free, you could potentially say then

I would respond by vomiting at the soppiness of your reply and tell you to go write greeting cards. Pfft. Family is free. Pfft.

Tis the season ...

Management have decided to be playful for the Christmas Season and issued a challenge to see which office can come up with the best decorations using a sustainability theme or an environmentally friendly way. The cynic within me sees this as an opportunity to save money on decorations and inspire self-inflicted team building exercises. The child in me is just delighted with the idea of messing about with cutting up paper and gluing shit to stuff. I am buying me some glitter on the weekend - w00t!

Have googled a few ideas and some of them are a little more complicated than I can deal with because I am a clutz and have never been good with my hands, not to mention the small issue of lack of patience (jigsaw puzzles drive me insane and I frequently end up trying to hammer pieces into places they refuse to go).

I think I might be able to do this one and maybe this and potentially (if some kind of character changing miracle occurs) I might try and do this.

There are some other ones that are much simpler, but I don't have a link for them.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Argh

I am starting to get a little tense about the parent's upcoming christmas visit. It is only a couple of weeks away now. Lady at office has offered me sanctuary at her place, but I'm not allowed to sleep over - lol

This however, is not a usable excuse to escape the week long visit she says I am making.

argh

W00T!!!!!

he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated he updated
(finally!)
(only a week late)
(he was probably busy)
(I shall stop pouting now)

Entry Three of the Dan Kelly Album diary is up :)
link off to the left hand side of the screen, mon petits
(or is it the other left?)
(shit what hand do i write with again?)
*pauses looking at her hands*
(Okay - the right hand side of screen)

Edit: oh nah, fuckit - just click HERE

Edit Edit: what/who the heck is Tim and Eric?

'morning :)

i got nothing



sorry

Monday, November 23, 2009

Aimless Babble

My sister has given herself a nasty sunburn bagging dirt for me. They delivered it and plants to me Saturday afternoon 2ish. I was going to wait. It was going to be my Sunday activity, but ... I have no self control.

I saved one plant for yesterday.

So now I have a couple of passionfruit vines and eggplant and tomato bushes. I chucked all the out of date seeds in there as well, completely neglecting to stick to the spacing instructions. I figure if they come up, they can fight it out amongst themselves.

The bean seeds weren't out of date - i just felt like planting them.

I hate the open unobstructed fenceline. Neighbours have been cleaning up their yards and cutting down banana trees and shrubs. I don't want to see them working in their yard. I don't want anyone to see me working in my yard. I want a walled garden and intricate fretworked bars covering my windows and meals delivered through a small hole in the door big enough for the plate to fit through.

Sounds rather like solitary confinment in jail?

It would have to be a luxurious jail with unlimited internet and cushions. Fancy cushions.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Self Obsessed

I winter in my discontent
Warmed by slights
Wrapped in bitter brooding bound resentments
Tight

If I would let go
Look out instead of in
Perhaps it would open the way for spring to begin

But I squat
glacier locked
In icy contemplation
Of every glancing chance personal interaction

- figured I should do one myself since I was posting other peoples poems :)

More Chick Poetry

A Work of Artifice by Marge Piercy
The bonsai tree
in the attractive pot
could have grown eighty feet tall
on the side of a mountain
till split by lightning.
But a gardener
carefully pruned it.
It is nine inches high.
Every day as he
whittles back the branches
the gardener croons,
It is your nature
to be small and cozy,
domestic and weak;
how lucky, little tree,
to have a pot to grow in.
With living creatures
one must begin very early
to dwarf their growth:
the bound feet,
the crippled brain,
the hair in curlers,
the hands you
love to touch.

and i like this one too, but it is longer

What Are Big Girls Made Of? - Marge Piercy

The construction of a woman:
a woman is not made of flesh of bone and sinew
belly and breasts, elbows and liver and toe.
She is manufactured like a sports sedan.
She is retooled, refitted and redesigned every decade.
Cecile had been seduction itself in college.
She wriggled through bars like a satin eel,
her hips and ass promising,
her mouth pursed in the dark red lipstick of desire.

She visited in '68
still wearing skirts tight to the knees,
dark red lipstick,
while I danced through Manhattan in mini skirt,
lipstick pale as apricot milk,
hair loose as a horse's mane.

Oh dear, I thought in my superiority of the moment,
whatever has happened to poor Cecile?
She was out of fashion, out of the game,
disqualified, disdained, dis- membered from the club of desire.

Look at pictures in French fashion magazines
of the 18th century:
century of the ultimate lady fantasy
wrought of silk and corseting.
Paniers bring her hips out three feet each way,
while the waist is pinched
and the belly flattened under wood.
The breasts are stuffed up and out
offered like apples in a bowl.
The tiny foot is encased in a slipper
never meant for walking.

On top is a grandiose headache:
hair like a museum piece,
daily ornamented with ribbons,
vases, grottoes, mountains,
frigates in full sail, balloons,
baboons,
the fancy of a hairdresser turned loose.

The hats were rococo wedding cakes
that would dim the Las Vegas strip.
Here is a woman forced into shape
rigid exoskeleton torturing flesh:
a woman made of pain.

How superior we are now:
see the modern woman thin as a blade of scissors.
She runs on a treadmill every morning,
fits herself into machines of weights
and pulleys to heave and grunt,
an image in her mind she can never approximate,
a body of rosy glass that never wrinkles,
never grows, never fades.
She sits at the table
closing her eyes to food hungry,
always hungry:
a woman made of pain.

A cat or dog approaches another, they sniff noses.
They sniff asses.
They bristle or lick.
They fall in love as often as we do, as passionately.
But they fall in love or lust with furry flesh,
not hoop skirts or push up bras rib removal or liposuction.
It is not for male or female dogs
that poodles are clipped to topiary hedges.

If only we could like each other raw.
If only we could love ourselves
like healthy babies burbling in our arms.

If only we were not programmed
and reprogrammed to need what is sold us.
Why should we want to live inside ads?
Why should we want to scourge our softness
to straight lines like a Mondrian painting?
Why should we punish each other with scorn
as if to have a large ass were worse
than being greedy or mean?

When will women not be compelled
to view their bodies as science projects,
gardens to be weeded, dogs to be trained?
When will a woman cease to be made of pain?

Friday

Friday, what of thee? I am making a git of myself, as per usual and as sometimes happens thereafter, I have played with my google and it has thrown up at me this:

Sonnet 13 - And wilt thou have me fashion into speech by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

And wilt thou have me fashion into speech
The love I bear thee, finding words enough,
And hold the torch out, while the winds are rough,
Between our faces, to cast light on each?
—I drop it at thy feet. I cannot teach
My hand to hold my spirit so far off
From myself—me—that I should bring thee proof
In words, of love hid in me out of reach.
Nay, let the silence of my womanhood
Commend my woman-love to thy belief,
—Seeing that I stand unwon, however wooed,
And rend the garment of my life, in brief,
By a most dauntless, voiceless fortitude,
Lest one touch of this heart convey its grief

Nice, ey?

Being an airhead is such a drain. Do you suppose it is because my hair is the wrong colour? I tried to dye it blonde once, but fried it by accident. I should let a hairdresser do it next time.