I have just started thinking about Christmas and how to make it nice. I realise we need outdoor games. Crochet. Boules. French Cricket. Need to keep people moving and occupied. It is the only way to get through it. This is the only fortnight I will have money (which I shouldn't actually be spending because it is also the only chance I have of making a dent on my credit card, but like, whatever, right? fuckit).
Myself and a lass at work are getting together tomorrow to make christmas decorations for work which will be sneered at by most and possibly gain us glory in offices down south. I am aiming for the glory. The faults in my nature which make it impossible for me to stop guessing poets before Squib remembers the one she is trying to remember have ascendance - I WANT TO WIN! Sustainable and environmentally friendly decorations. I shall make myself a crown from scrap paper.
Caught a glimpse of Better Homes and Gardens on telly. Somebody visit and dig up a patch of my lawn and make me a draughts board from pavers for Christmas. Please.
I shall hide some money away for Christmas presents for my kitties. They shall have smoked salmon for Christmas lunch (and perhaps tins of crab meat and lobster for other times around then - I should freeze some fish, eh?)
They charged me for fixing all the things they broke during the other services on my scooter. I wish I had such moxy. I'd go far.
or be in jail
I have trouble using the rubber rails on escalators because it occurred to me one day that one could easily and discretely place razors dipped in sewerage held with chewing gum under the rim and probably security cameras wouldn't even pick you up. Isn't it a good thing I am not an angry person and have such a stick up my arse about honour.
Edit: I have a dreadful craving for pineapple fritters now :(
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