I am sadness ...

I wish I still possessed a copy of Lady Hawke, for I am sadness.

I know it's only been a fortnight since Ted died, but I am subject to tragic thoughts when I Scooter.  I started crying half way home from work.  Really it is enough to put One off Scooters.  Great though they are.

It was the same with Bubba after he disappeared. I guess Ted is the closest I've come to having a long term relationship to anything.  It is only fair that I cry as much for Ted as I did for Bubba.

I wish I was still painting, even though I've never shown any talent for it.

It was a stopgap that stemmed the bad thoughts.

I shall buy a canvas this weekend to hammer into my subconscious my lack of talent and hopefully the urges will ebb. It's not as if I am any kind of artist?? It​'s stoopid. Appropriate for the stoopid pills, hey?

I blush ...

... there was perhaps a moment when, perhaps, the wind was too strong to fly a kite ... but only a moment.  I think we've had about three minutes of heavy rain since.

Obviously, many people south of Townsville have lost their homes and businesses, and perhaps i may possibly have enjoyed Kochies nervousness on the balcony a little too much.  Whilst also being a little turned on at his stern dadlike cautioning of the cameraman who wanted to get some more impressive shots of a piece of guttering that had come off the building.

But also, somewhat suffering the guilt of wishing something a bit bad would happen to idiots flying to a natural disaster before it happens.

It's just wrong.

And the whole standing around outside during a cyclone thing ... ?!?!

You can take illicit drugs, hey?
It is probably safer.

Don't know what is organised vis a vis donations to flood/cyclone relief, but please consider qld if you have spare moola.

It's nice and warm at the moment, so no one is cold, and people help each other, so no one is starving, but replacing clothes and daily necessities costs a lot of money, not to mention all the businesses which won't be operating and employing people.

And cat food.
And kitty litter!
My cats won't crap outside when it is too wet.
Really, i am sure everybody has enough to put up with without cat shit on top of everything else.

Edit: over 30%heat and high humidity, no airconditioning or even ceiling fans because no power ... and no deodorant!

Edie edit:  solar powered fairy lights are surprisingly useful.
That's how my family lit their bathroom for a week with the power off last cyclone.
A bit of light to help find the toilet comes in handy.

What is this looming thing?

It is cyclone Debbie.

Soooo not an intimidating name. Why couldn't they at least rename her Deborah when they decided she might be more than cat 3?

How embarrassing would it be to have all ones earthly goods destroyed by Debbie?

Probably i am being insulting to Debbies.
Probably they are a devastating force of nature too, when they want to be, hey?

I just wish work was closed like the schools.

I predict I shall arrive at a surgery with few doctors and spend all morning cancelling appointments (to much abuse, because that is a receptionists lot in life), until such time as i have to drive home in unsafe conditions and be unable to buy any last minute necessities i may require, because sensible businesses closed at midday, so that employees were left with plenty of time to make their homes safe with all the things one does not do till the last minute, like bringing the bins into the house, etc.

In my case, my bins into my kitchen and my scooter into the laundry.

I plan to spend most of tuesday drunk.
(If i can get to a bottle shop in time with the meagre pickings left of my pay after ordering a skip so I  could clean up the block).
Yasi was an all night affair.
Debbie does daytime

Hopefully, Debbie does not blow Townsville ... away.

My poor brother in Mackay will probably have it much worse, though I have great faith in his partner Dianne to have done all sensible insurancy things.  She is much more organised then I  am.  I wish I had a Dianne.

Dianne could totally take Debbie.

Pre-cyclone picture, all blushing pink and orange fire.

Toss ya for it?

I am sadness ...

My beautiful neighbour Ted passed away Thursday.

He would have been 96 this year.

He would tell me stories about his wife Beryl, about her lamingtons and hanging plants,  about their life on the farm, about his experiences stationed at Darwin during the war.

He gave me his newspaper every evening after he'd completed the crossword.

I didn't see him so much after I started at the medical centre cause I mostly work afternoon/evenings, and his chat time was usually between 5 and 5.30 when his dinner was cooking. He said he swore he wouldn't let himself go when Beryl died, so he kept to a strict schedule for meals and stuff.

The void was soon filled by the Bluecare ladies who helped him bath every morning, but i would still catch him sometimes on my day off or at the mailbox and/or bin mornings.

The afternoon he died i was contemplating trying to organise a set time we could have morning tea together, around his nap times, which were gradually increasing every year.

He was a lovely, kind man who always pretended to be more deaf then he actually was when I checked in with him about my tendancy to sing rather louder than I  should.

Cheers Ted.
Probably I've had rather too many drinks in your honour since Thursday night ... but you're worth it, hey?
Cheers!
(And at least i am not trying to ferment my own liqur with sugar, spit and coconuts)

Also ...

I went for my two yearly eye check Thursday.

I was stressing cause my eyes feel more blurred than usual and I wasn't sure if it was the psoriatic arthritis, which can effect the eyes, or the medication, which can cause blurred vision, or just time and age.

It was only after, when I was picking out frames, I realised my shirt was on inside out.

I've been sick ...

Proper sick.
Food poisoning!
From bacon!!

I may never be able to eat bacon again.

It's a TRAGEDY!!!

So ... i was lying on my bed. Not feeling to good after my late night snack of bacon on toast, when began to know that things were not going well in the digestion department. In fact, i decided that i thought that i might be about to commence being sick.

The bathroom is at the other end of the house and i began to feel also perhaps too darn far away.

I looked about me and noted a handy flexible bucket style container that could be rapidly emptied and did so with a promptness rewarded with the rapid refilling of said container with watery, bready soup and what i would have been proud to call finely diced bacon if i had done so by hand.

All well and good and not a bad thing because one always feels so much better just after a spew, however ...

... unfortunately ...

I am one of those people who sometimes (well frequently) faint if i vomit in an upright position.

So the next thing i am aware of is that beautific feeling of ultimate relaxation and warmth that one has (or at least i do) when waking from passing out (or anthesthetic), then i remembered what i had been doing prior to this and realise i have just been snuggling down into a pool of my own vomit.

Sigh.

It was a massive regurgitation.  A puddle over a metre square.

Yikes!

Due to assimilation issues between cat number six and the established mob, cat six is allowed outside when i am not at home.

Cat six therefore also has a water bowl and food dish outside.

In consequence, two local cane toads now think they are my pets and no longer flee at the sight of me.

One won't even hop away when i make shooing motions at it.

I had to actually touch it to get it to move.

😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨