Resolution - be more thoughtful

Booked myself in to see a hand wrist physio.

My homework is to wrap myself up into a fist for half an hour every night to gently stretch my fingers.

Must remember to have a loo break between hands.
Am rocking back and forth in my chair waiting for the time to count down.

Breathtaking

I mostly missed one of the most awesome sunrises this morning.

I woke at a stupid hour.
I was bemused at the glory reflected by my dressing room table mirror.

Lifted my head clear of the pillow I'd buried my head under, to be greeted to a sweep of colour washing my front room with peach coloured light and a window filled with fluffy apricot clouds.

A usual sunrise is pretty and all, but doesn't spew colour across two rooms and paint the ceilings pink and orange, so was very special display this morning.

I should have slipped put of bed and crept out my door and danced in the colour.
It was an amazing sunrise.
I thought about it.
Briefly.

I didn't.

I was having a lovely dream in which I bought two green dresses at a second hand shop in a country hall.  They were a bargin.

The fitting room was a wonky stand alone stall in the middle of the room wot only reached up to just below my shoulders.  When I accidentally bumped the wall getting changed, it jogged the door which caused the simple toilet style latch to disengaged and pop open.  I had to scramble in an undignified way not to be exposed and try and relatch the door by evening and resquaring the walls.

What is with the change room/toilets/shower stalls that don't properly cover my body in my dreams, hey?!?!?

I do love dream shopping though.
I even like window shopping in my dreams, which normally depresses me under waking circumstances.

I bought two lovely dresses in green.  One floral and the other in two shades of green in crimped folds.

The lady I  work with thinks she doesn't dream at all.
She can't sleep in and leaps from abed to start housework cause she can't be still.
Doesn't even read books.

I cannot even begin to imagine what her life must feel like.
It seems like there must be a whole quarter section of her life missing.

The dream state.
The reluctance to abandon the dream state.
The temptation to return to the dream state.

I have whole cities and houses that I return to on a frequent basis.

She was very kind listening to me waffle about the dresses I bought in my dream.  Particularly since she probably thinks I'm nuts.

I wish I'd taken a photo.
I dont have the words.

Maybe I'll wake wake tomorrow to something nearly as good?
Or dream shop a more upmarket rack?

I've yet to have a dream ball.
Maybe tonight?

Twiddling thumbs ...

... waiting to see what happens.

Teenage son of dr at practice I work at has been drafting reasons for him to be given my sunday shift based on hours worked.

(Irrespective of the hourly rate, length of service, competency,  life requirements such as being sole income earner compared to spoilt brat living at home who spends over three hundred dollars on a pair of shoes).

I've been working there casual for six years and make rare mistakes. Am obliging and flexible about changing my hours etc.

Teenage son (whose father is compensating his hourly rate to equal experienced long term staff cause his son wouldn't have stayed otherwise, on actual payrate for inexperienced staff member of his age) makes lots of mistakes and sounds like a dead person when he speaks, but his father is one of their mainstay permanent doctors.

Teenage son would be much cheaper on a higher paid day than either myself or the other lady I alternate with.

We were given the sunday shift to make up for the reduction of our hours during the week.

Lets see what happens.

All this when my body is betraying me and I am not likely to make a good impression on new employer's with my wrist wrapped up like a mummy.

Sigh.

Think I need to shift to only eating once a day and squirrelling any spare money away for emergencies.

2018 is not been a good year.

Argh

Lots of kitty affection in this cold weather.

I'm in two minds as to whether I should cancel my dr appt Tuesday.

It's just for blood results to send along with the specialist referral, and I dont expect they will be much different to last years. I don't see any reason to make an appearance since he doesn't want to prescribe me anything until after I see the specialist.

I fancy playing hard to get, just in case the new random dr actually takes an interest.
I've decided I  will re-engage when he actualy asks me a question.

I am excessively uncomfortable talking about myself on a one to one situation.
I am just not comfortable being intimate with complete strangers.

He didn't even ask about my home situation or if i had any support last visit.
Lets see what happens.

In the meantime im trying to work out if i can drop a shift.

Only .. if i can drop a shift, they aint going to give it back when i feel better.
I can live on 5 or less hundred dollars a week for a few months, but not for more than that cause it doesnt really leave extra for things like rego and Xmas.
Sigh.

Had a night chock filled with vivid dreams.

Nightmare culminating in devil possessed smallest pet cat Wombat with blue light shining from her eyes and unable to remember the words to the Lord Prayer.

Woke muttering "Our father who art in heaven" and resorted to pulling tbe blanket over my head until i felt better.

Second dream involved a marriage ceremony for Prince Harry and Meaghan or howsoever she spells her name.  I was a minor clergy in a garden ceremony with only  maybe twentyish people there and i stuffed my lines.  But there was this whole other spinof about having their honeymoon on the Canary Islands for three weeks and treasured australian comedians like Denise Drysdae reminiscing, publicspeaking, about their time on the Canary Islands and the buses not having working breaks and all the near accidents they had.

There was this whole virtual experience/teaser but without having to wear stoopid looking headsets to sell the Royal family on the Island honeymoon experience.

It was one of those special dream moments when all feels right with the world and it has maybe cured/made up for/compensated for all the worlds ills.

Running my hand through illustional virtual dream reality sea water lapping a moden concrete building on a half submerged concrete broadwalk with decorative specimen mangrove trees. Sun shining.  Water dancing gently in the breeze playing with the blue of the sky and the grey of the concrete and dappled with leaves and occasional mangrove root protrubances.

I have no idea what the Canary Islands is like, or the state of their public transport and no semblance of my dreamscape should be taken as a derogatory opinion/statement of the actual place.

I am sure its lovely.

I dont know.
Maybe its just i sign that I should go myself to the Canary Islands?