Oh dear, ...

... it's one of those nights when I am having ranting conversations/ arguments in my head.

Q&As fault.

Imagining I am asking a question and rebuttalling.

Then imaging I have demanded an exit interview at my work place (after I  win the lotto cause that is the only way it is gonna happen, sigh) and what I might say .. if I were a completely different person to wot I actually am.

People who call a spade a spade, dressing up rudeness and bullying in virtue etc.

I am making myself tired and also ruining my chances of a good sleep all in one action.

Need to shut my brain down, but patting cats or reading books are not working.

I have an abundance of both. Three cats on the bed (at present, more later if it gets colder) and a pile of books large enough to mimic a bedside table.

I wish I'd bought spirits so I could have a shot of tequila or gin, but am paying rent in advance so I can have a week off in September. 

Have roughly worked out I need to pay two weeks in advance so I can pay rent and eat for two weeks for one week off.

Not stressed about that.
Think have under control.
Think should hit close to goal this week with a week to spare or merely be spot on.

Am taking the  week I see the specialist off.

With encouragement from boss since he is having mini holidays during the next two months which are guarenteed to make my life unpleasant.

Last time he didn't leave his keys so i couldnt access the filing cabinets with the processed record requests, or file new record requests etc.

Last two times he has only given the email password with the nurse manager who is computer illiterate, and who therefore will not let me access the email, since i wasnt given the password, so i couldnt tell what he had or had not told people about record requests.

Didn't leave the code to tbe eftpos machine so I could not process payments for record requests at all.

Really dont want to do it, but they cant sucker anyone else in to doing it.  Do not get paid extra.  Last time went in 7am everyday for an hour (unpaid) just so i could use the computer he has stuffed saved onto the desktop of (which the spade calling nurse manager uses when she arrives at 10/10.30 except at the time she was coming in extra early because of pre employment medicals booked) without interruptions cause one can't do it whilst trying to work reception with a person down since we now only have two receptionists working afternoons nowadays.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!  Runs about hysterically flapping hands and making angry chicken noises!!!!!!

Really work isn't that bad, and people interractions are the usual levels of unfairness and nondescript thoughtless bullyfacing wot you would get in any workplace. I have just been there too long. 

Have passed six years and drowning.

Surely you should only have to suffer family this long?

Hell.  I spend more time at work than with my family.
Probably why I feel more fondly disposed towards them.
The less I see of them, the more fond I am.

Am contemplating my options for this years xmas present.
Last year was socks.
This year i am considering useless bricabrac, eg small bowls or plates.

My previously diseased sister is trying to redirect my attention to something vaguely useful, such as pens. But, a good pen is going to cost twenty ot thirty dollars or even more, and I am trying to keep xmas presents down to ten to twenty dollars.

Cheapness being the whole point when one is single, attempting self support and having twelve or more people to buy presents for at xmas time cause noone will agree to do a chris kringle in case they get my other sister as a presentee.

Actually ... maybe I am feeling a little tense this evening?

Really, it is so hard to know sometimes when one is perhaps being a little over emotional, until maybe one writes a blog post and perhaps comes to the conclusion upon rereading, that maybe ones is being perhaps a little excessive upon consideration.

Is there any wine in the house at all?
No?
Bugger.

Snowball beat up George when he visited the other day.
He yelped in a most distressing way.

I wish I owned a footspa.
I am totally in the mood for foot spa.
I don't even own a bucket I could fit two feet in.