Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Big Red Button ...

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.
I booked it the week before last.
I am a bit phobic about dentists.

And a lot phobic about sharp objects near or in my mouth.

I fully intended to scour the diseased and rotting remnants of keratin mascarading as teeth to within an inch of their lives and swilling salt water and mouthwash with careful abandon, but my self destructive crazy inner evil overlord over ruled thoughtful forethought and i believe i have behaved in an even more irresponsible manner than i normally do, which is saying something considering lately.

I wonder how much the cancellation fee is?
$50 would be totally worth it.
I am perfectly happy to pay money to not go to the dentist.

However, the lady who works for the physio would totally not let me get away with it.

It is a shared office and she sits right next too the dentist office admin and the physio appointment is right after the dentist appointment.

She would crucify me.
Annd probably make tutting noises.

Alternatively, i could get my sister to call work and tell them i died and become homeless as an unemployed madcat lady and take up smoking to go with the drinking and move into the empty city centre and bathe occasionally in the river whilst keeping an eagle eye out for the crocodiles that infrequently frequent the urban waters.

The dentist and physio and pathology is in the building next too our medical centre and share a car park and the nice pathology ladies pick up samples from us on a  regular basis.  I get blood tests on a monthly basis.

I am, to use a perfectly sensible though somewhat crude phrase, shitting in my own nest.

Argh!

I don't really want to see the physio either.
Not much one can do in a week exercise wise and i have no idea what tomorrows appointment is supposed to achieve/do?

Excuse me ... i need to go clean my teeth again.

Maybe I should brush with Ajax?

4 comments:

  1. Our dentist is a truly lovely woman. Who terrifies my wimpy self. Years back we had a dentist who was missing the top joint from his index finger. I assumed a patient had bitten it off.
    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm always worried i am going to do that when they give me needles, lol

      Delete
  2. I have had the same dentist (with a break abroad) since 2000. He uses the tools that I remember from my childhood. Nothing electric.

    What scares me, and I didn't know it would, are the electric tools that whine and whirrrr right near my head. I had a teeth cleaning in Zurich and I sweat through my top. -fight or flight reponse while sat in the chair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed! I tense so much they could probably take the chair away, like in the hypnosis shows when the person is propped up on two chair backs by neck and ankle and they invite people to stand on them.

      Delete