For some reason ...

I can't get Paul McCartney's song Waterfalls out of my head today.  They used to play the clip on the ABC sometmies when I was little.  I remember thinking the lyrics were the most lame-arsed words to a song I'd ever heard and yet it was terribly catchy.

Verses:
don't go jumping waterfalls,
please, keep to the lake.
people who jump waterfalls,
sometimes can make mistakes.
Well - this a fair enough assessment of the situation.  I have no complaints with this verse.  I am still kind of fond of it.
* * *
don't go chasing polar bears
in the great unknown.
some big friendly polar bear,
might want to take you home.
Unlikely, but cutesy.  Kind of like the chasing something through the great unknown and then being invited home once found.  Possibly for tea?  Why not?  It is as unlikely as a friendly polar bear.
* * *
don't run after motor cars,
please, stay on the side.
someone's glossy motor car
might take you for a ride.
This is my sticking point.  I hate this verse.  

I remember the clip showing him wandering around a beautiful garden and then going into a little tin shed at the end and turning the light off and then loud crashing sounds as he tripped over stuff.

Just for you Paul

Necessity breeds invention

Not that I invented either photocopying oneself or the scanner, but here ya go :)

oh dear

I shouldn't be allowed near shops when I am cross or upset.  I should be locked in a room with Enya playing and those revolting chicken soup for the soul type books until I get over myself.

I've dyed my hair black.

(It's such an emo thing to do - I'm a little embarrassed now)

Shitty day

May I say, there is no point in abusing or lecturing a receptionist if the person you are trying to get hold of does not return your calls.  .

I can sympathise, and do.

I can advise I have spoken to the individual personally and they have definately received your message.  I can advise I have made them aware you have called a number of times already and they are getting to you as soon as they possibly can.  Lecturing or speaking sternly to me in no way advances the process. 

Usually these things don't bother me so much, but the lady today managed to hit exactly the same tone and cadence as my dad when he was lecturing me about dental hyigene when I was five.  That same edge of frustration, disappointment and 'why can't you do such a simple thing'.

I have people getting cross with me at work already because they are having to cover calls for sick colleagues.

I was going to be terribly fugal this fortnight (apart from the supersoaker), but  now I feel the need to go buy myself something nice.

I was nearly attacked by a pony at 4 am

It didn't sound like a pony though.

I heard dogs, woke and dashed to shoo them away.  My Bubba-cat and Michael-cat refuse to sleep indoors at present.  They spend the whole night whinging, howling and scratching at the door if I attempt it.

Bubba-cat is old and smart and doesn't run, but Michael-cat is a runner and if you are a cat and you run then the dogs will chase.

So I race outside in my sleeping atire of raggedy shorts and tank top, poor unsupported breasts bouncing more than is comfortable or dignified, and out the gate to the desserted house next door where my cats sleep on the top step, and there it was ...

It was good I'd thought to turn on the carport light, else I'd not have seen it and kept going.  It was standing so still and intent - not staring at the cat.  It was staring at me.  It was going to go me.  It wanted too.  You could see it in it's stance. 

Once I'd noticed it and stopped, it growled a little.  Very softly.

When cats are in danger my normal fear of dogs recedes.   I've dived in before when a large dog with a jaw like a rottweiller was attacking a beautiful old ginger cat near my sisters house in Sydney, but my brain still works to some degree.  So I went off to grab the hose.  Damn thing wasn't connected.  By the time I got it hooked up and on, the dog was gone - which was what I wanted anyway, but still ... time is of the essence in these situations.

So first thing I buy today with my pay is a supersoaker to keep by the door.  Loaded heavy on the citronella.

That pony is going down.

Ode to a Sandwich

Gadzooks!
The Horror!
Innards splashed across floor

Does the three second rule apply?
Can we stuff em back in if we are spry?

I suppose we can’t save them all
An occasional sandwich has to hit the floor
Leaving no option but to withdraw

And go to the pub for lunch