the rain is a fitting soundtrack and has shadowed me all day

mother rang to tell me one of the children of a friend of their's
whom I used to play with and keep entertained on visits
committed suicide last year

i wish i could remember what he looked like
i only remember he was a very nice little boy
he was only nine or ten when i met him
it will probably come to me tonight in my dreams

they only just found out
the parents haven't been able to speak about it until recently

also one of my cousins is apparently deceased
i've met him on and off since i was small

she doesn't know how or why yet
she has been girding her loins to call one of her sisters
to find out what happened

she knows me well
she asked if i were sitting down first