Tuesday a day of slow death

today was horrible. i wanted to cry (boredom). endless in its unendingness, except that it did end and i was out of there like a shot. my head continues to be a place for white noise only. i don't think I even watched the television last night I think i stared at the walls. Vegetative state.

however

continued employment offers options that i will be exercising, along with my legs, this weekend. I intend to buy a pushbike and possibly a shovel, since I have permission to plant stuff along the edges - i think movement is required if one has a job and a workplace that doesn't inspire ones imagination.

I shall report next Monday on if I follow through or not and activities started.

Adieu mes enfants

I don't like Mondays

COB of my second last day and I have verbal confirmation on my non-ongoing extension - working till end of December - w00t!

Diary - boring sorry

oh hazy blissful day
stay
never age
cause i don't want to work at the RAAF Open Day

But I promised, so I'll be there tomorrow *sigh* for three or so hours, being useless, because I am not a font of information. I hate being useless. It's depressing.

Dear world, please let my next job be one I can do and that keeps me busy. I cope better if I am busy. It makes me feel less brain dead and boring.

Edit: also i think i would like a pony
Edit Edit: and maybe some chickens

ARGH

Wearing my cranky pants today
Swallowed sharp words
Boiling in my belly
Curdling

I'm Back :)

oh dear - the contract extension is not looking promising

course left me nearly convinced i was mad, but concluded overnight that i never actually think i am actually going to die or have a heart attack when i am stressing out about something and therefore i am just a hyperchondriac chicken weiner nancy girl

sisters gift of wine and my inability to stifle my curiousity as to what each and every bottle tastes like in combination with the Adelaide incident (that i don't remember) pushed me over into 'issues with alcohol' score on the little quizz in the book, but apparently am well within my rights to blame genetics and my parents, so that's alright

(1997 Chablis so far this week *beautiful*)

all through the course the instructor would take us through a phrase, where the first letter of the first word made up another word, which is supposed to be a dandy way to help remind one of the steps one needs to take blah blah blah blah - right at the end she asked if anybody remembered the village people and without thinking (d'oh) i piped up with 'of course, when I was a little girl i was going to marry the construction worker'* - i have no brain - or at least it is slow - i was therefore pulled out of the class to stand up with the instructor to lead the class in forming the letters of the word of the phrase a la YMCA

one day i hope to gain full control of my mouth


* i have mentioned before that i've lead a very sheltered life, haven't i?

Taking a Break

will be off on a course over the next couple of days

Not sure what i did yesterday

Yesterday: 1993 Chardonnay
*faints with pleasure*

It's good that none of my favourite bands come to Townsville. I'd feel obliged to send a couple of bottles back stage and I wants to keep them all to myself. MINE ALL MINE MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Stray tabby Friday night didn't run away as fast as usual - followed slowly cajolling for attention and he came back and gave me a head bump on the hand before leaving - there is nothing quite like having a feral cat show affection.

Last night and this morning much disturbed by presence of fluffy white cat hanging about and howling gently - was still there when i left this morning - not interested in me - seems to want to interact with my cats - he definately belongs to somebody - he looks like a cat from a story book - excessively cute and glowingly white - if still there when i get home, shall try and lure him with tinned food.

Six Minutes

six minutes remaining
of paid public internet
sitting on a cube in a shopping centre

sister and brother-in-law dropped off four and a half dozen bottles of wine from my other sister yesterday - three dozen in my fridge chilling - it is a thing of beauty

1997 Chardie was very nice
label said cellar for 2-4 years
12 did it no harm, i assure you
didn't get much cleaning done

lol

so I wore one of my granny dresses
and knee-hi's in today for the ladies
as a lark
i ran into one of the ladies
from a different section of the office
on my way
and she said ... that's a lovely frock

The Store Room

male member of staff refuses to go inside
warns me against working in there
says horrible fungi and poisionous fumes
probably

spent 20 minutes in there earlier in the day
so much dust and mold
came out feeling like i had been smoking
cough cough cough

apparently room floods when it rains

return after lunch with Glen20
spray until room looks misty and shut door
come back later
smells better anyway

arsing about poking about in boxes
reading files
bopping away to my walkman and singing
ooo i will release myself unto you oooo
box of old phone stuff and network cables
amused to be thinking of network cables as old
learnt to type on a manual typewriter
foam on telephone headset disolves as finger touches
make icky face and scrub hand on trousers
continue to poke through box
pulling on cord
maybe connected to some kind of modem or something?
nasty smell
greasy sticky feel
ooo oooo ooo
cave and race upstairs to bathroom and wash hands
go in search of rubber gloves
find cool old photo of old men
one guy with slicked back hair
clark gable moustache
and high belted trousers
awesome

hands are all pruny from the sweat collected in rubber gloves
i feel desperately in need of a bath

G'morning

my imaginary companion cooked me
imaginary food this morning
and though delicious and beautiful presented
left me hungry and wanting

so i bought myself a ham, cheese and tomato croissant and some coffee on the way to work

Tenterhooks or is it Tenderhooks?

Holy Frozen Bananas
they are putting in a proposal to extend my contract for three months
that would be nice
i might get to buy proper christmas presents this year
i resolve to be terribly good if it happens and not fly off to where ever to see Mr Richards solo show or anybody elses even though i really really wanna go see Khancoban or whatever their name is and I like the Gin Club and and and
but no
i shall be as steel

Awesome

I know I've always said that I have a labelled vomit bowl
but actually
actually, I don't
it's not labelled at all
but during my cleaning out of store room type duties
i have found one of those old fashioned labellers
gun like with the wheel of letters
lettered impressions made in blue sticky plastic
so now i do (or will tonight) have a labelled vomit bowl
(i wanna nick it, but i am going to ask if i can have it instead)

Kitten with sharp claws attracted to my toes

score!

found $1.50 on bookshelf
(in my desperate scrabbling search this morning)
((pathetic sight))
(((totally)))
able to combine with shrapnel in purse
and buy coffee

w00t!

(get paid tomorrow)

Did you notice i was absent?

all day sunday abed reading 'the girl with the dragon tattoo'
(well most of the day)
all day monday in bed (day off) or curled up in nest of blankets and pillows on lounge room floor with cats settling around at each move - lots of sleeping and purring and reading - highly recommend as a way to spend a day, though does not get the domestic chores done

laptop screen busted
sister's computer not functioning
two days without internet
will take me days to catch my reading up

went to estiford to watch one of my nieces perform
pay five dollars to be tortured with the same two poems over and over again

it is odd the ones that win
they always seem to chose the ones that are insanely over the top
they look like they are going to dislocate their jaw when they talk

my niece did not place in her section
it was improv
she was given 'The Fortune Teller' as her theme
so of course, she was sitting down at an imaginary table reading a crystal ball etc

but the adjudicator was marking on use of stage
doesn't seem quite fair, but there ya go
there was some crying afterwards
i am dreadfully biased

Myspace

I love myspace. I don't need to go looking for interesting things. Interesting things come to me :) I am rather enjoying this.



(though possibly i feel he could have gone a little easier on that bottom eyeliner - maybe used liquid eyeliner, for a smoother finish?)

Friday Afternoon Brain Death

Take a note
..
…
…..
Well?
Well what?
What am I noting?
How should I know? Whatever you like. You just looked like you needed something to do. It was a suggestion.
You are a complete wanker, you know that?
Now please. There is no call for that kind of language. Don’t be vulgar.
Oh for fucks sake.
Really! I am shocked, I tell you. Shocked.
There is just no talking to you when you get like this.

*static*

G'morning

i can't believe we spent five hours writing her selection criteria
we were here till 8:30 last night

she wouldn't let me use the word holistic
she said it was too wanky and pretentious

she has also just given me a narrow eyed look and told me she doesn't like me blogging about her

mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*milking the cow gesture*

English is a funny language

lady in office asks me how to spell words

i told her i was going to start blogging a list of the words she asks me after she asked me how to spell relationship

but anyway ... she asked how to spell therapist
so i told her
she said it looked wrong and double checked in in the dictionary
and then observed that O-M-G therapist is 'the rapist'



aye currumba - i may never be able to have that much needed therapy now

Crivens

i shouldn't be allowed to answer government selection criteria

i actually wrote:

I have been working in blah blah blah since blah blah blah and have been impressed with the breath of knowledge my colleagues have been called on to possess to meet the needs of clients. I have interacted with a range of organisations available to assist blah from blah blah blah blah blah blah blah organisations. I can only hope to carry this example with me into future positions.

i feel like i've been on drugs for the last hour
i think i may even have used the word emulate somewhere or other

by golly i need a drink

i think i am getting a pimple on my nose

ARGH

i feel very impatient and cross
i desperately need something to occupy my mind
chat between friends has fallen away
gotz nobody to flirt with
i don't feel like knitting
and my temp job finishes 30 September

at least at this point it does

i am trying not to think about how ill prepared i am for that money wise, but the stress is niggling and eating away at the edges of my self-control

i hate having to think about money
i have no talent for it

*sigh*

oh well

Afternoons

It’s not yet time to close door
Clock seems to have stopped ticking
So few minutes remain
And yet, they don’t appear to be diminishing

I look away (a watched clock don’t tock)
I hum - I gaze - It seems an age
But apparently, it was only a minute
minute (echoing), inute, nute, ute, te, e

five more to go
i. h. a. t. e. w. h. e. n. a. d. a. y. g. o. e. s. s. l. o. w.

Diet? What diet?

Have i mentioned that so far everyday this week at 3 pm a lady in the office has heated up home made scones, put strawberry jam and cream on them and delivered them to me whereever i happen to be in the office?

Nostelgic

have been playing a particular cd for the last few work days
on repeat
whilst i sort through, tidy and inventory
brochures, posters and trinkets

this morning my work day was knocked out of its recent rut
and i was puzzled as to why i was feeling stroppy around about tenish
but then i realised
it was because i hadn't gotten to listen to the cd again
and i'd been rather enjoying myself

my previous job was very solitary
though i was sitting in an open plan room with eight other women
i would listen to music on headphones all day
whilst checking listings on databases and stuff

i had become very bored with it towards the end
until this morning i had not realised just how much i missed it

*whimper*

Divers Alurms

The lcd screen on my laptop got broked sometime in the night. It was the cats wot done it. They didn't get any wet catfood yesterday and I was late feeding them last night. They have gone beyond the regulatory revenge crapping on the bed and have switched to full-on 'kick her where it hurts' mode.

Consequencely, I shall only have access to the internet at work for the next fortnight, as they are machaveilian in their cunning and waited for me to pay a month ahead on my rent, so I wouldn't have any spare cash for a monitor, before crippling communications.

I hope this is only a warning. If the phone lines go down tonight, may god have mercy on my soul.

Forgive me my spelling, as I am typing this in a rush and not sparing the time to look up the dictionary.

Over and Out,

Ehemera Part Three

i think i should have done more hanging about listening into conversations than reading on the weekend

Sunday as was making way up to see woven boats
saw trio of teenagers
all dressed in black
watching hot dog vendor set up
they complained that it was just like New York
the hotdog vendor replied
"Yep, it is just like New York, except it's Townsville"
boy attempted to explain himself further
he thought what with all the sculptures
and landscaping and hot dog vendors
we were trying to be like New York

i then past out of hearing

i think they bought hot dogs after that

Ephemera Part Two

Since i am allergic to direct sunlight and physical activity, I only managed half of the sculpture walk yesterday, so this morning i decided to wander back out there and have a look at the rest. Not that there is a lot this year. I read the pamphlet and it says they were limiting the number.

Okay. I know I took photos of this one yesterday, but I just couldn't resist. I think I took another five photos today - lol. I think I just like frames, eh?

I took more photos of the stick and leaves 'Castletown' as well, but since they are mostly of kids building stuff, I figure I probably shouldn't put them up on the blog. It was cute as all heck. I had intentions of being there at 10 am when the workshop started, but just didn't get moving very quickly this morning and then also decided to have breakfast out again, which I shouldn't do, but did anyway. If I were not so crippled with shyness I would have had a go myself, but I am a chicken weiner nancy girl and will instead probably just have a go at building my own town in my back yard.

These woven boats were AWESOME, but none of the photos were any good and I therefore succombed to the urge to fiddle with them. Sorry.

There are jellyfish every time. No one seems to be able to resist the urge to make jellyfish out of plastic. This year is no different, but they are still fab-u-lous darlink. Rainbow Jellyfish, though you can't tell from my photo. The green and blue ones didn't turn out so good by camera because the sun was in an unhelpful position.
It was a gorgeous tree too.
There were a few others I didn't take photos of, or photos of which were not very interesting. I am sure there will be some beautiful ones entered into the competition though. They are asking people to submit entries, so there were lots of people with cameras out and about. Much better cameras than my $30 cheapshit thing from Cash Converters :)

Edit 5:15 pm: okay, now i am just messing about - looks like a little island village about to be flooded with lava, eh?

Breakfast and Ephemera

Struggling against the affectionate onslaught of Blossom-Cat insisting on sharing lap with computer.

Felt like staying in bed, but eventually dragged myself up and out just before 8. I was undecided about where to eat. I've not been to my usual place for a while, but my scooter headed to the strand all on its lonesome. Was going to go back to the place over the water, but though it said it was open at 8 am for breakfast, at five minutes to, there were no signs of life, so I decided to give Bambini's gregory street branch a go.

Settled down with tea and feet up on a roadside garden bed. Attempted to listen in to the conversation at the table behind me, but only caught unconnected words now and then. They were Melbourne people. There was talk of organic and the price of coffee (i think) and the word brainwashing was bandied about. The unheard end of the phrase 'how can you let your senses free when ....'.

Very unlike usual overhead townsville cafe talk. One voice was remarkably like the one from the 'Listen, Now Walk' storytelling entry. But that would be coincidence gone wild, since I was cheatingly listening to the first track last night. I downloaded it from www.cadfactory.com.au cause i was curious. Have intentions of buying myself a cheap mp3 and doing this properly tomorrow. (edit: have googled them since then and definately not them - oh well - maybe i shouldn't have bought that lotto ticket afterall)

Service was prompt - too prompt. I finished before 9 and wandered down to the rockpool to read until 10 when the guided walk was reputed to start.


I have no patience. I made it till 10 to and then thought 'fuck it' and just started walking back to the bike. lol. i am a doofus.








I took far to many photos of this one, but i liked it rather a lot and it was fun to photograph.




sunburnt sharks? i shall have to look at the program and see what this was supposed to be :)



Giant crayfish climbing up the rockpool wall. Eyes like gimlets (that dwarf who runs the delicatessen on cable street?) (sorry am rereading Reaper Man and that is one of the running jokes during the beginning bit - i am such a dweeb sometimes)



There was a woman looking at the lobster with the most amazing white hair. I could only dream of having hair like that when i am old. She looked up at the trees and it was like she was looking up at angels come to claim the good at the end of the world.



Though probably I'd just had too much sun by this stage. I am not used to sun. I like the heat, but only from the cool shade of my hammock.



Lovely as a sculpture, but regretable i think she would fit into my clothes - sigh - i really need to get some exercise.



this was very pretty. it was set up in the back of a ute with 'big yellow taxi' playing. I don't know what the significance of her getting out of the vehicle and resting a bottle of water against a rock, but she seemed to do it whenever I was passing by?



Part of the 'Listen, Now Walk' entry. This little town. Cute as. When I was sitting about at the rockpool reading I tried to make a little hut out of fallen pine thingys, but failed dismally. On the way too the rockpool I saw a little old lady creakingly lower herself down laying on the grass, so that she could take a photo on the same level of the little houses. She appeared thoroughly charmed. Must have been, cause getting up again looked painful.



A bird taunted me. It was flying about trying to pick the dangling bits for nest collection, but moved on everytime I got the camera framed into the right position. Curse you nature *shakes fist*



Am battling the urge to go glue rubbish to the tree out the front of my house. I don't think the landlord would like it.

A dirty scruffy withered and weathered man was sitting in the doorway of the pub my scooter was parked outside, rolling a cigeratte. He wished me a good morning. I uncharacteristicly indulged in a short chat. He lives nearby and goes for an early morning walk everyday. He has been puzzled at all the activity over the last week. Bless him. He's probably only ten/fifteen years older than me and thought I was a uni student or something.

Learn something new everyday

am sorting and taking inventry of brochures stored out back
i am so old fashioned i only have a walkman
playing dan kelly's drowning in the fountain of youth for entertainment

only place availabe to rest walkman whilst moving
is in small of back down back of underpants

it gets surprisingly sweaty
i've had to wipe the machine down twice already

Last Night

set alarm to get up to watch Live at the Basement
dragged self from bed with blanket and pillow
made a nest on the floor of lounge
cats drifted behind
like debris caught in wake of boat
and settled
once becalmed
in crook of knee
and bend of body
kitten draped across abdomen
as is her want

a cosy purring puddle of fur and blankets
with sleepy eyes
peering from under tousled hair
at favourite band on telly

loathe alternate version of OCH
but have visions of 1920's dance floor on cruise ship
as if a bbc production of an agartha christie novel
as is played out before horrified ears

Stranger Strange magnificant
The Slant heartbreakingly lovely
sigh

if only cats hadn't decided to trash the flat
with early morning acrobatic chasing games
between 4:30 and 6:30
it might nearly have been the perfect night

Daydreaming

i had an odd waking dream the other morning

i was at a party
i only knew a couple of people
i have no small talk
there were apparently famous people there
but not anyone I recognised or knew
i was uncomfortable and about to leave
but caught sight of a man sitting slumped back in a chair
who was looking a little green

i had an airplane vomit bag in my purse* (as you do)
i was heading over to him
cause he looked like he was going to spew
the girl i knew a bit was trying to stop me
because he was somebody
and she thought I was going to pester him for an autograph
or something

Due to the slight delay
I didn’t get the vomit bag to him quite in time
And he vomited some on my shoes and skirt
Everybody else moved back out of the way
And I was left holding the bag and patting him on the back

The host of the party was pissed off
But went and got a towel and a bucket
Once the bucket was safely in boys hands
i went and emptied the bag in the loo and chucked it
assuring individual that it was fine
and that usually I had to deal with cat vomit
which is much worse
and that I had been about to head off home anyway
so vomit shoes was not an issue

the weird dream stopped not long later
after I had placed a damp cloth on the mans forehead
and was on the way back to the bathroom
to empty and rinse the bucket

(when I was in Adelaide last, there was an incident where I had to beg a bag from the sanity music store opposite the airport departure lounge because I wasn’t going to make it to a bathroom after a big night out and airline staff had just called boarding – meeting up with friends at the gig in Melbourne, they presented me with their airline vomit bags as present)

Thinkin'

I remember spinning and spinning and spinning as a child
Arms outstretched either side
In exuberance
In pleasure
In excitement
Head thrown back
Dizzy with delight

Now it just makes me feel sick

I think it happened about the time
diving to the bottom of the pool
began to hurt my ears
and give me a headache

I don’t think I grew up
I think my inner ear malfunctioned

Resolution

huummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i am supposed to write something beautiful today
to make up for all my whining yesterday



SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL


hahahahahahaahahahhahaha splat
falls off chair laughing

half an hour till i can blow this joint

What do we want?
Instant Gratification!
When do we want it?
NOW

oh, and did i mention?

I'M BORED

i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r

i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d i m b o r e d

Need a Hobby

i really have nothing to write at the moment
normally there is always something for me to babble inanely about
but it feels rather like i have a few pages missing at the moment
very strange
lack of stimulation

i am broadening the ladies at works music listening
my favourite band - reaction was meh
The Drones = good
Melonman, Shit Times specifically = good
Dan Kelly and the Alpha Males = good

When pressed for an assessment Kathy has said
she isn't going to wet herself in excitment over them
but they don't make her vomit

NB: she is currently listening to 'Fire & Theft' and is refusing to take the headphones off and keeps shushing me if i speak to her - also making somewhat annoying do-do-ot-do and yea yea yea yea noises whilst singing along - so i think she likes it more than wot she has said

i think she still prefers bon jovi though

Edit: she appeared to be headbanging away happily to Melonman and seemed to be enjoying it, but then wailed 'why don't you have any gunners?' I said Gunners were shit and she said 'O-M-G'. what is with that? can't even be bothered to say 'oh my god' and is just spelling it.

I admitted i haven't heard any Bon Jovi since i was a teenager and Slippery When Wet was played so often at the rollerdisco, so she is now happily burbling away to herself about all the bon jovi songs and albums she is going to bring in for me to listen to.

OH MY GOD - WHAT HAVE I STARTED!

Babysitting Two

my nephew says
the reason why the cat is shedding so much fur
is because of global warning

and that we need to stop global warning
even if it means
going without tv for two whole weeks

Babysitting

my niece is torturing me with clarinet practice in the living room
actually it sounds quite nice
its just very very loud
instead of dueling banjos
i have clarinet dueling with television

my nephew came to me saying he had a sore throat
he says he's been sick
but didn't tell his parents
because he wanted to go to school
he says he needs a cough lolly

poor nephew is out of luck
the distribution of the cough lollies
rests in the hands of his evil elder clarinet practicing sister
whose answer is a resounding no

my niece is keeper of the last remaining cough lollies
because she has been ill

when snotty she has the distressing habit
of leaving her used tissues where'er they drop
like little plague bearing snowdrops

Tuesday

finding it hard to orientate myself today
tuesday
have to remind myself its tuesday

don't let me forget