Saturday, March 5, 2011

Flashback Poem - 18 August 2008

I've decided that my mission for this week - to keep myself occupied and out of trouble  - will be to write the most revolting vomitous poem possible.

First Verse:

Oh my cutie ickle snookie wookums
My Sweet wittle bunny face
I want to make smoochie-woochie noises
Snuggle-wuggled in your embrace

I had a possible next line of:

My pumpkin, my pigeon, my petunia
I want your crotch pressed against my vagina

but I think it might be too good for this poem

Your big chocolaty eyes
and the scrunch of your ickle nosey-wosey
Make my heart go pitter-patter
And my cheeks go rosie

You are the plum in my jam
The banana in my cake
Just for one smile from you
All others I would forsake

I am not sure about the above verse - I don't think it is bad enough. The one below is a definate winner though :D

If I were a pumpkin pie
My skin wouldbe the crust
Because just looking at you
Turns my insides to mush

I want to ruffle my fingers through
Your fluffy wuffy hair
And lick you all over
Like chocolate from an éclair

You are more moreish than bacon
And more addictive than Malteasers
I want to tie you to the bed
And tickle you with feathers

If making custard tart
You'd be the bottle it came in
Spurting forth
Tasty goodness from within

ha hahahaha oh my goodness - this is nearly as fun as the toilet poems :lol:

Oh to bury my nose in the crook of your neck
And breathe in the scent of my snookie bear
And then to run my fingers through
Your shoulder hair

You are the bee’s pyjamas
And the cat’s knees
I want to say bless you
Even when you don’t sneeze


Your eyes make the morning sun
look like the dull glimmer of the moon
And torrid daydreams of you
Cause me to nearly swoon

(stumped for inspiration I googled bad pick up lines - there were some very funny ones there :) I have to try to work in - My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in - If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever - and this might be one of my favourites :) - You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being.")


  1. lol

    I came across this one when looking for an old poem to post.

    "Assaulting toilets is very satisfying
    Cause when you punch them and the cistern breaks
    Its almost like they’re crying"