Bugger its thursday not tuesday isn't it

i've no thoughts to share
or whinges
or cares
i sit like a slowly deflating pool toy at my desk and wish i were elsewhere

chips and gravy today
i slouch over my bloated belly like an anxious parent penguin
posture samantha! posture

where are the nuns with the rulers when you need them, ey?

My middle name is sloth

I had such intentions
So firm I did not even gird loins
I was going to clean
I was going to garden
I was going to do all my washing
Including sheets and towels

I have spent two of the days on the stupid computer game I am about to look up more cheats on

I have reread a seven book series of trash, consisting of lots of sex, blood and repetitive descriptions

I started trying to clear out a garden bed and didn't get very far before my hip ceased to cooperate and the muscle spasms started

I have sipped wine
and eaten
and read
and slept

... and I shall miss it all terribly when I go back to work tomorrow

and thus I am made susceptible to the advertised lure of you have to be in it to win it and am going to buy a lotto ticket in the 25 million tonight, cause I wouldn't mind being retired - though I might get a cleaner - if they would put up with me.

and maybe hire a chef?

I am not Master Chef

My second fortune cookie says "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure".

Can't help thinking somebody in the fortune cookie factory was having a shitty day that day.

All I can say is that ignorance and confidence did not breed success in this case.

Easter Saturday

Domestic Friday interrupted with call from eldest to invite to Chinese dinner saturday night - where each person brings dish - not takeaway.

I do not cook.   Occasionally make spag boll or carryout some other offense to cookery perpetuated under the influence.  Yeast is not a substitute for flour when trying to make a white sauce.

Much thought was spent on whether I would wimp out with the other option provided that I did not have to bring anything - sisters wise to my lack of ability and possibly fearful of cat contamination.

Wracked my brain and decided to try dim sum - which looks easy - though I did not use a recipe - cause I never do.  Have spent nearly $100 today buying mixing bowls and jars and stuff and my brother-in-law has just been roused on for adding salt to the prawn crackers - lol.

Yo

feel like death
woke at 1 am and couldn't get back to sleep
tried
3 am gave up
played computer
5 am tried again
failed
managed a couple of cat naps at around 7 am

was awake to let Bubba-cat in when the dogs came round
so that was good
a lab and a bitsa
wish people would keep their dogs in
but then I should be keeping Bubba in too
but Bubba was been having continence issues which nescessitated his expulsion

and then i dreamed during my cat nap
which is how i knew i had napped
that the cats had pissed in three separate places
and it had run down the floor onto
a Powderfinger cd
Internationalist

and then later on my way to work
i saw someone actually throw litter from their car window
in a car park
it's been so long since i've seen someone do something like that
i was surprised at how shocked i was

how has your morning been?

Earthquake

Sad to say the earth didn't move for me.
Don't know what I was doing at the time?
Might have been scootering back from the shops, maybe?
Or patting the Bubba-cat?

I am disappointed I didn't notice it.

Hump Day

and though the work days creep
they pass faster than seems right
I can't believe it's Wednesday already
- and what have I done?
feels like bugger all
(and now I have so this is christmas stuck in my head)
endless pieces of paper being catelogued and ticked as entered and lists made never to have items crossed off whose destiney is to be buried and become mere strata

I shared my viewpoint on work with colleague
that we aren't growing our own food
and are not building shelter from the elements
and therefore everything we do is really just to keep busy and out of trouble

I don't think he found it a liberating perspective
I think he found it depressing

and then I pointed out we are paper shufflers
and that we don't necessarily even get to shuffle actual real paper anymore
sometimes its virtual paper

I like to think of it as a kind of meditation
sitting her clicking away at my computer
checking to see if figures match
not really thinking at any deep level

Maybe I should start a new religon
(splinter group?)
zen and the art of the clerk

Very much a Monday

Odd Occurrence of the week so far ...

stoopid posts of mine
coming up as linked to a Dave Graney post
and listed after his entry
- I don't know why

Not that Mr Graney isn't entirely worthy of being linked too

I encourage you all to do so
I'd do it myself now but I am about to waffle on about the bad dreams I had over the weekend and I figure I've embarrassed myself in front of any curious readers of his well and truly enough already

I should colour all this first bit in pink just to properly reflect how I feel

weekend work related bad dreams

one where i am working where i am now
and performing some function or other
and things not working out

vague description I know
but it melted away like candy floss
leaving just a sticky residue of stress and unhappiness

second set at a fictional workplace
in a futuristicish large vertical city
but with lots of light and trees?!?

spent the dream working on financial repercussions of quiting the job
and what I would have left over on the dole after paying rent
maths works out though
$225 a fortnight
a hundred of which is taken up by cat needs

I don't need dreams like that
I can do that while I am awake

The struggle

and lo, one o'clock on a Friday afternoon came to pass
and my intentions
gathered carefully and close
during the worried wakeful hours of the morn
have fled far
out toward the edge of the horizon
and are blowing raspberries in my general direction
and wiggling their fingers with their thumbs stuck in their ears

Concur

Stalled

Did I put this up already?  I've actually finished since, thou not tested with an attempt at printing.

I must try it soon.

I got a little carried away with the carving out and probably mucked it up.

Blather-blath-blat-baa-a-a-a-aaa

I've drunk soo much coffee today I've come out the other side
instead of withdrawal headaches
I have a binge headache and have been bouncy all afternoon
and laughed too loudly
at things that possibly weren't all that funny

Certainly the individual at work cursing the slow computer system and looking like they were going to have an aneurysm didn't think so

and said so

All on an empty stomach too
cause I couldn't bring myself to eat any more spagbol
and waited until I got here to my sisters

(its babysitting night)

and mooched food  from them

and I have to make my nephew do spelling practice
which I didn't think was all that sucessful last time
but apparently he got 23 out of 25 right
which is his best yet
so perhaps not

And my new credit card arrived, she sang

(the one I chose the picture for)

(of a section of flowers in vase)

(that I messed about with)

and have made all my nephew, nieces, sister and brother-in-law admire

Nephew said was so good he had to look at it a second time
and then was trying to memorise the credit card number
the scamp

and how I wish I were out using it
after a week and a bit without recourse
of submitting to infantile impulse
It's like a fountain of whimsical want
welling up inside

and I want to buy towels and pots and thai curry and flowers for my hair and garden forks and buckets and laundry detergent and bleach and kitty litter and disinfectant and pillows and another blanket and books and EVERYTHING *pant pant pant*

Marshmallow People

3 pm on a friday afternoon at work
is a time when a person really gets to know what they're made of

one comes hard up against ones moral code and upbringing
in the face of the late afternoon suger low
in combination with the imminence of the weekend
and the slightly shocky after-effects of a bad week
(or is it affects?  I never remember)

Can you knuckle down and give your all for the team?
or are you going to slip away into a dozy catatonic state
endlessly failing to prioritise the piles of papers on your desk
looping all the paperclips together
going to the toilet and making coffee
which just causes you to go to the toilet again?

Wassail

Let us drink to absent friends that we've never had
Indeed, I hold to my friends so lightly it is as if they were not there anyway
so perhaps let us drink to all people
and contemplate our place in the world
and then perhaps weep a little
because we can
and because we are drunk
because there are a lot of people in the world
and therefore a lot to toast

and perhaps at the end we will be friends
swear to each other faith and loyality
forsworn and forgotten once the fumes have cleared
and the night nothing but a headache and a blank ill remembered spot in our memory
and in the cold light we might say
out out damned spot
I can't believe I drank so much
I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing
where did that tattoo come from?