Is anybody else suddenly struggling with the urge to take up smoking since they started talking about it on television recently?
I get the urge now and then anyway - I blame it on growing up as a passive smoker to my parents and extended family - Benson & Hedges Gold. The smell always makes me feel a bit calmer and nostalgic. It's not even so much the smoking that I crave. It's having the cigeratte to fiddle with. Something to shift focus away from myself.
I think I would practice movements and the flicking of ash in the mirror (actually I do remember doing that as a kid - my mother had a great flick I was trying to copy). Try and learn tricks. Spin the cigeratte across the knuckles of my hand. Throwing one up to catch with my lips like Sid Snot aka Kenny Everett.
I miss the blue haze clouding public spaces when I go out. It used to make me feel safer, less conspicious, being able to hide in the fog.