Tuesday, May 4, 2010

It's wrong, I know, but ...

Is anybody else suddenly struggling with the urge to take up smoking since they started talking about it on television recently?

I get the urge now and then anyway - I blame it on growing up as a passive smoker to my parents and extended family - Benson & Hedges Gold.  The smell always makes me feel a bit calmer and nostalgic.  It's not even so much the smoking that I crave.  It's having the cigeratte to fiddle with.  Something to shift focus away from myself.

I think I would practice movements and the flicking of ash in the mirror (actually I do remember doing that as a kid - my mother had a great flick I was trying to copy).  Try and learn tricks.  Spin the cigeratte across the knuckles of my hand.  Throwing one up to catch with my lips like Sid Snot aka Kenny Everett. 

I miss the blue haze clouding public spaces when I go out.  It used to make me feel safer, less conspicious, being able to hide in the fog.


  1. I didn't grow up with smoking parents, but I understand that nostalgic association. I can fully understand you missing it when you go out -- I associate FRESH cigarette smoke with bands in pubs, sexy (and less sexy) boys drinking beer, a good night out. I think you look lovely photocopied by the way so you need not miss smoke to hide behind.
    Thank you very much for buying my work! I sent it yesterday, hope it arrives safely + very soon. Please let me know if not.
    Take care

  2. lol - ta. I have been showing everybody in the office my new purchases :D I have a feeling one of my nieces may try to nick one of the mirrors.

  3. Honestly, I've thought about over the past couple of decades taking up cigar smoking. I actually do like aroma of a good cigar and whenever I do catch a whiff of one, it does bring back pleasant memories.

    Usually though, the thought does pass, simply because of losing a few close relatives to smoking related cancer and my own health problems as well.

  4. yes. yes. yes.
    i'm planning on taking it up again when i'm about 75. possibly 80. i figure that if i make it that far, i deserve to smoke like a chimney.