Xmas lunch

First layer of plate consists
Of pickled salad
Beetroot and feta salad
With some garden salad
Wasabi dressing
Ham and turkey

Out of room
What to do?

Second layer consists of
roast vegetables and pork
And gravy made from scratch
Not forgetting the peas and honey carrot

Curses!
The gravy has leaked down
As gravy does
And mixed with the salad and wasabi dressing!

I shoulda thought it through better
Coulda
Woulda
Shoulda

Groan
So full

Of look ... watermelon!

Ohhhhh nooooo
Even more full

Cradle the old blind chicken
Being harrassed by the bad tempered peahen

Feed broken crackers to the peacock

Feed the xmas treat to the other chickens
Dried mealy worms
...
Chickens don't understand what they are
Chickens walk over treat in search for crackers

Bok bok bok

Xmas 2018

Wrap dress wot i will wear as a coat

Action shot two

Action shot one

Xmas bow

All gone ...

... but the rain left behind a lovely sunset.

Bah!

It is 12.30 pm and I am still wide awake, and due at work at 7 am.

Not a happy happenstance.

Faffing about making guacamole and prepping for variations on tadzike for tomorrow .

Imagining laying some aside for the delightful doctor popping back for a couple of weeks before heading back to the UK. 

Imagining inviting him to the sisters for entertainment in the meantime.

Not sure he would be as entranced as I by Critical Role.

Was beside myself with delight to see a theatre full of people give standing ovations for high dice rolls by a troupe of voice actors playing Dungeons and Dragons, ha ha.

One of those things I had never contemplated happening, but which HAS happened, and I am glad it did.  The world would be poorer for the lack of people who would travel hundreds of miles to attended an event to listen/watch a bunch of people play dungeons and dragons in costume on a stage and go nuts when they role a high number on a twenty sided dice.  That is the world I want to belong to :)

Foolishmess, i know ......

... am pre-preparing for the upcoming heatwave.

Have been gifted a portable air conditioner.  Have it running full bore in readiness for the coming 40 degree temperatures .  Not sure it will work, considering the shape and size of my duplex, but should take advantage of the unaccounted electricity whilst it is still available to me.

They reckon high 30s, maybe 40s next couple of days.

Argh!

Topsy turvey

The dentist was scared .

Next visit in a couple of weeks for clean and scale after which she will be able to do a thorough assessment and list out an order of works.

She has put an hour aside for it.

Physio is frustrated cause he keeps wanting me to do stuff I can't actually do. 
I think my youthful looks are counting against me.

He seems to be reacting like I'm unwilling, but one cannot do push ups if one cannot put ones hands flat on the floor.

So not going anywhere near a gym.
No matter he says.
My step father don't call me 'Sam-mule' for nothing.

I get self conscious walking across a zebra crossing.
I have to psych myself up to pump fuel.
No way am I hobbling about in workout gear trying to pump iron in public.

I wonder if the dr would even certify me fit for gym🤔

Big Red Button ...

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.
I booked it the week before last.
I am a bit phobic about dentists.

And a lot phobic about sharp objects near or in my mouth.

I fully intended to scour the diseased and rotting remnants of keratin mascarading as teeth to within an inch of their lives and swilling salt water and mouthwash with careful abandon, but my self destructive crazy inner evil overlord over ruled thoughtful forethought and i believe i have behaved in an even more irresponsible manner than i normally do, which is saying something considering lately.

I wonder how much the cancellation fee is?
$50 would be totally worth it.
I am perfectly happy to pay money to not go to the dentist.

However, the lady who works for the physio would totally not let me get away with it.

It is a shared office and she sits right next too the dentist office admin and the physio appointment is right after the dentist appointment.

She would crucify me.
Annd probably make tutting noises.

Alternatively, i could get my sister to call work and tell them i died and become homeless as an unemployed madcat lady and take up smoking to go with the drinking and move into the empty city centre and bathe occasionally in the river whilst keeping an eagle eye out for the crocodiles that infrequently frequent the urban waters.

The dentist and physio and pathology is in the building next too our medical centre and share a car park and the nice pathology ladies pick up samples from us on a  regular basis.  I get blood tests on a monthly basis.

I am, to use a perfectly sensible though somewhat crude phrase, shitting in my own nest.

Argh!

I don't really want to see the physio either.
Not much one can do in a week exercise wise and i have no idea what tomorrows appointment is supposed to achieve/do?

Excuse me ... i need to go clean my teeth again.

Maybe I should brush with Ajax?

Oh hum ...

... my dreams are less than salubrious (sp?)

I blame the methotrexate, which makes me feel flat and less than happy.

The dream I experienced, when I was convinced I was not sleeping, but just resting, was a double layered event involving me dreaming about describing my dream of me not sleeping but just resting whilst experiencing me describing my dream about not sleeping.

Or is that triple?

I was still quite poitive when i woke that i didn't sleep.

Whatever, no wonder I am waking up with a headache because I am clenching/grinding my teeth.

My eldest niece dressed up in top hat, white gloves and vest to drive my nephew (her little brother who is probably nearly three feet taller than her ((i exagerate))) to his formal in her car, which she dressed up in a large top hat and moustache (made of foam).

Who needs a limousine, ey?

Snowball continues to fling himself at my feet, when I am strolling in the yard; and pretending his legs are broken so I will rub his belly.

I have failed to win the lotto again, sigh.

Am lavish and exuberant with my application of lavender oil, which is having a positive effect on the quality of sleep i am having, so am feeling quite chipper even though i am not sleeping as well as i do generally.

I am reading a book which features witches and i think it is influencing my sentence structure and word choices.

Frustrating dream ...

Dream self was told i smelt and needed to bath more regularly by dream coworker,  but in a nice way?!?

Dream self was thinking , well ...  maybe fair enough.  It is starting to get summery warm, and i usually shower at night before bed, not in the morning.

Maybe i do smell?

So i was nice to dream coworker, and thanked her for telling me.

But!

Then dream self remembers that dream self did actually dream shower that morning, though did not dream wash dream hair during dream shower.

And then i was all like, i'm gonna have a few words with not so dreamy dream coworker, and then i woke up without getting to yell at anybody.

D'oh!

Methotrexate 5 continued

Sooooo tired.
Too tired to cook.

Lived on tadzike and pesto last few days.

Today bought microwave dinners.

Large microwave dinners.
Family microwave dinners.
Curried sausages and mashed potato with garlic each advertised as servings for four people.

I ATE IT ALL!!!!!

*groan*
Giant food baby lives here.
*bewildered shrug*
I wasn't even all that hungry?

Snowball

May have a home for Snowball.
Just have to make myself let him go.

He has developed the slightly dangerous habit of cutting in front of me when I'm walking to get attention.  When I stop he throws himself to the ground and rolls onto his back playing cute kitty for pats.

He races me up the stairs and lays down in front of the door so i have to stop and pat him and then move him out of the way so I can open it.

Methotrexate Week 5

This is more of a diary entry.
It is useful to have a record to refer back to for dates and times of events.

Week 5 of methotrexate and the random crying started today, sigh.
Was hoping that wouldn't happen until after I got up to 15 mg.
Was riding home from shops on scooter and started crying for no reason.

The absentminded brainlessness was pretty much immediate.

Forgot to lock the house before going to work.
Hit the car accelerator instead of the brake.
Had trouble forming sentences and tracking simple instructions all Thursday.

Mood swings and waking up angry.
Actually being unkind to people I'm serving.

Feeling flat and generally not happy as base starting point all the time.
Not necessarily actively unhappy, but definately not chirpy like I would normally be.

I really would much rather be in pain.
Pain doesn't effect my mood so much.
Sometimes pain is funny.

In other news, my landlord has put the duplex up for sale.
Believe is under contract already.
Don't know if they are investors yet or whether they will want me to move out so it can be converted back into a house, like I think it was originally.

Don't fancy living next door to the owners.

Have lease till end of February .
Don't know if I'll have to move yet or not.

My scooter broke down just before the long weekend.
Went to new dealership for it as the original one closed down.
Said couldn't collect until after the long weekend.
Was lucky to be able to borrow sisters second car since it was holidays.
Week and a bit later they still hadn't collected it.

Ended up having to apply for a credit card and buy a new scooter so I would have transport to get to work.

Bought new scooter from different dealer.

Other dealership have picked up my old scooter and maybe i will find out if it is repairable next week. Not sure they can repair even if it is repairable, as they don't have parts for TGB brand.

Finally got round to buying a cable to connect the dvd to the tv, so I happily have access to movies again.  Am having a wallow in Sherlock. A study in Pink is my favourite .  Benedict is a cutey pie and the baddy is one of my favourites too 😀

Since I spent sooooo much money this week (scooter and creditcard surcharge cost a bit over $3000), I bought some Christmas presents too. 

Absurd ...

... ridiculously entertained/amused at parents yelling at child.

Don't do that!
Don't touch that!
What did I say?!

Angel stop that!
Angel I said don't touch that!

Something beautiful

Restless

Delight me with poetry
Tickle my fancy with some words
Sing of glory
Wail of death
Fling yourself into revels and reels and jigs and japes
Jumble your limbs in fury and furious gestures and exclamations of the unsayable
Paint me something glorious
Write me a song
I yearn

All bundled and blanketed in bed
with jittery legs
invisible twitching
Empty grasping hands
Thwarted muscles that want to run
With long darkness of hair that I don't possess
streaming in comet wake behind
Across twilight fields of flower studded grass
Whipping legs exposed by raised skirts clutched in fists

stretch strides
Ground eating
Flying
Skimming
Soaring
twirling and spinning
Skirts wrapping around and spreading and bursting burning into fiery colour

Red sky at night
Sailors delight

At least someones happy.

Shyly stirs dust with toe ...

... i read the third volume of Stephen Frys autobiography.

Butterflies flitting hither and thither...

... I get so wound up and anxious before my specialist appointments.

My brain seems to escape my control at the least provocation.

It's a very important five or ten minutes that are not repeated for three months.  I am so cross with myself cause I nearly always end up crying, which is my number one stress response.

Today I nearly held it together.

The actual specialist came out this time, and checked it was okay she had a student with her.  I am fine with students.  Actually pleased and happy if I can contribute. Which in this instance I think I did.  There was quite a bit of show and tell happening. Which is good because I get told things I probably wouldn't be told under normal circumstances.

The specialist looked at my hands and asked me how I was working.

It wasn't a rhetorical question.
She actually wanted an answer.
She grilled me a bit on what I was actually doing.

She asked me if I was able to dress myself, and bathe, and wipe my bottom.

I nearly broke down then and there.
They were good questions.

I can wipe my own bottom and shower and dress myself, but sometimes it feels like a close thing, and I am overly self conscious about whether I am pulling my weight at work and if people think I am bludging,  cause I don't think I necessarily think I look disabled.

My gulity conscience probably plays its hand here, as since moving is troublesome, my preference to drape myself over something soft and comfortable with a book tends to take dominant position.

Even when moving is not troublesome, my preference is to drape myself over something soft and comfortable and read a book.

Bah!

I have my script for methotrexate and a plan to try it again and if still to unwieldy, a plan for an alternative.

I have the rest of the week off and have dug large holes in the front yard and half refilled the problem areas.

I am starting on the house.

Have stabbed a couple of the problem areas and if I manage to conquer the next two sticking points, I expect the rest to flow like joyful bubbling spring water, washing away the weighty weighing woeful black tide of stultifying emotion that has kept me from basic cleanliness.

I might even get around to washing some of the walls that I've wanted too for a while.

...

Or I may read the third volume of Stephen Frys autobiography which I picked up for five dollars at the opshop, when i popped into the city centre on an errand for my eldest sister yesterday.

It was a bargin.

Tomorrow ...

... begins my week off work.

I will start by running an errand for my eldest sister .
The next my specialist appointment.

I've bought dried mealy worms to feed the ducks in the park after my specialist appointment,to mitigate the effects as i expect it to upset me.

I have formulated plans to go a day without antinflammatories, so I can reimpress on my brain how much difference they make.

And I plan to do house and yard work.

Preliminary investigations from some of the holes in my yard are reveilling shockingly large holes under the driveway etc.

Which is making me even more concerned about the awesomely huge hole wot opened up on the other side of the yard that they have chucked besser blocks into instead of soil, which i think is a mistake as it just allows more water to go in to make the hole bigger.

I think it could cross the line from erosion to perhaps potential sink hole.

I don't want my rental house to sink into a hole.

I'm fond of it.

How great!

My Aunty Margaret took this rather fabulous photo on her latest roadtrip.

I wish I had half so much talent as she has in her little finger.
She is an awesome painter, and has tried her hand as at a variety of mediums.

This one soothes my soul on a troubled day.
... but would sooth my soul anyway.
It is just perfect to me.

Oh dear, ...

... it's one of those nights when I am having ranting conversations/ arguments in my head.

Q&As fault.

Imagining I am asking a question and rebuttalling.

Then imaging I have demanded an exit interview at my work place (after I  win the lotto cause that is the only way it is gonna happen, sigh) and what I might say .. if I were a completely different person to wot I actually am.

People who call a spade a spade, dressing up rudeness and bullying in virtue etc.

I am making myself tired and also ruining my chances of a good sleep all in one action.

Need to shut my brain down, but patting cats or reading books are not working.

I have an abundance of both. Three cats on the bed (at present, more later if it gets colder) and a pile of books large enough to mimic a bedside table.

I wish I'd bought spirits so I could have a shot of tequila or gin, but am paying rent in advance so I can have a week off in September. 

Have roughly worked out I need to pay two weeks in advance so I can pay rent and eat for two weeks for one week off.

Not stressed about that.
Think have under control.
Think should hit close to goal this week with a week to spare or merely be spot on.

Am taking the  week I see the specialist off.

With encouragement from boss since he is having mini holidays during the next two months which are guarenteed to make my life unpleasant.

Last time he didn't leave his keys so i couldnt access the filing cabinets with the processed record requests, or file new record requests etc.

Last two times he has only given the email password with the nurse manager who is computer illiterate, and who therefore will not let me access the email, since i wasnt given the password, so i couldnt tell what he had or had not told people about record requests.

Didn't leave the code to tbe eftpos machine so I could not process payments for record requests at all.

Really dont want to do it, but they cant sucker anyone else in to doing it.  Do not get paid extra.  Last time went in 7am everyday for an hour (unpaid) just so i could use the computer he has stuffed saved onto the desktop of (which the spade calling nurse manager uses when she arrives at 10/10.30 except at the time she was coming in extra early because of pre employment medicals booked) without interruptions cause one can't do it whilst trying to work reception with a person down since we now only have two receptionists working afternoons nowadays.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!  Runs about hysterically flapping hands and making angry chicken noises!!!!!!

Really work isn't that bad, and people interractions are the usual levels of unfairness and nondescript thoughtless bullyfacing wot you would get in any workplace. I have just been there too long. 

Have passed six years and drowning.

Surely you should only have to suffer family this long?

Hell.  I spend more time at work than with my family.
Probably why I feel more fondly disposed towards them.
The less I see of them, the more fond I am.

Am contemplating my options for this years xmas present.
Last year was socks.
This year i am considering useless bricabrac, eg small bowls or plates.

My previously diseased sister is trying to redirect my attention to something vaguely useful, such as pens. But, a good pen is going to cost twenty ot thirty dollars or even more, and I am trying to keep xmas presents down to ten to twenty dollars.

Cheapness being the whole point when one is single, attempting self support and having twelve or more people to buy presents for at xmas time cause noone will agree to do a chris kringle in case they get my other sister as a presentee.

Actually ... maybe I am feeling a little tense this evening?

Really, it is so hard to know sometimes when one is perhaps being a little over emotional, until maybe one writes a blog post and perhaps comes to the conclusion upon rereading, that maybe ones is being perhaps a little excessive upon consideration.

Is there any wine in the house at all?
No?
Bugger.

Snowball beat up George when he visited the other day.
He yelped in a most distressing way.

I wish I owned a footspa.
I am totally in the mood for foot spa.
I don't even own a bucket I could fit two feet in.

Poor George

So ... I asked George to smile foe the camera.

Confused kitty

So before Thomas left, he had a interesting moment.

Traumatised

I girded my loins and boxed poor Thomas up and took him to the vets to surrender him, in the hope he was microchipped and had an owner to be returned too.

By golly, didn't the lady at the counter make me suffer.
Very not nice.

A overly detailed explanation that they don't take surrendered cats anymore and the council are supposed to come collect them direct etc, whilst still giving me the paperwork and taking Thomas away.

News to me.

Particularly since I'd popped in the day before and spoken to someone different to check it was okay to drop him in to see if he was chipped or not.

I wish i were more assertive and could have told her to bring him back then cause I really didn't want to leave him with someone who wasn't going to be nice to him. Damnit!

He cried all the way there in the car and i told him not to worry, it was all okay. Everybody would love him and be nice to him and tell him how beautiful he is and i just feel like such shit now.

I am just going to keep any other cats that show up at my place from now on.

I have a feeling she looked familiar.
I wonder if she is a patient taking out some dissatisfaction with her gp on me.

None of the patients really seem to believe that receptionist don't have complete control over the order patients are called. 

Reception is the lowest of the low.
We wash the doctors dishes for heavens sake.
Why would anyone think we can tell them what to do?

Was trying to save up for a week off in September, but think I should cancel that and save up for a vet visit for Snowball instead.

A different vet.

Thomas ...

... is reluctantly inside due to the invasive presence of Lord Whiffle-Trout the Third.

My cats are not exactly happy campers, but Snowball was nicer than I expected when I was feeding Thomas food in the gutter.

He is so young with such big feet!

He needs lots of food.

He seems well cared for so I don't quite understand why he is scrounging. 

Exponentially cute.

Woolliff ...

 

... has been up close and personal a lot lately.

Has been cold.

Quite difficult to fit five cats and me on a single bed, but they seem quite determined.

George said No!

George, the Houdini of the small but fat headed dog world, has been very tolerant of my dressing up - photo opportunitites.

But, today he said no.

Even with the softening up pre-fish-tender offering, a pastell coloured wig with a unicorn horn and little ears was a step too far.

.

Snowball

 Introducing Snowball wot, I want to name all sorts of different things, cause Snowball is a crap name.

The arrow fortunately points to the best/correct spots to pet a cat.
IGA is so thoughtful.

I brief moment of piece between three male cats.
I love how curly the Wooliffs tail goes.

Bad cat

Bokkie-cat was upset with me for no good reason and when I picked him up to make kissyfaces at him, he attacked my face!

I hissed and spat at him so he would know he done wrong.

In retaliation I dressed him up ina pink polka dot bowtie.




I think he feels the humiliation.

Cause he tried to hit me again during the punishment photoshoot.

I got punked by a bird!

Was getting ready to leave Monday.

Was putting helmut on.
Thought I heard a cat?
Thought I heard Mary-Cat!
Then I  thought I  heard a cat fight in the distance.

Did one of my cats get out?

Dashed down driveway to look.
Nothing.

Only a bowerbird with half a sandwich surrounded by Indian Miner Birds.
Six or seven.

Thought I  head a cat again?

Realised Bowerbird was making cat noises at other birds to try and scare them away.

I have never felt more present in my surroundings.

Sometimes the bowerbirds replicate the noise my cats make scratching the wall near their litter trays.

He will knock four times ...

Well, not exactly knock.

But Snowball totally doesn't understand why I've not turned out all my other cats in favour of him.

Little pig , little pig,
(i was born in the uear of the pig)
Let me come in.

'Why is this stupid human,  that i have honoured with my
presence,  not opening the door?'

Bloody hell! How many cats has she got?!?!

 I finally managed to get a picture of his testicles, which are a delightful caramel colour amongst the creamy whiteness for his underside.

Also, I decided the decorating rule didn't
Just apply to dogs.

Not quite picnic at hanging rock but ...

Bokkie was deeply unimpressed by Snowballs presence.

He lured him into chasing him down the stormwater drains this morning.

Bokkie returned 15 - 20 minutes later.
Looking smug.

Poor Snowball has not been seen since.

What did Bokkie do to Snowball?

Meet Snowball ...

Yet another cat has turned up at my house.

I half think he might be FeedMe's sibling.

Resolution - be more thoughtful

Booked myself in to see a hand wrist physio.

My homework is to wrap myself up into a fist for half an hour every night to gently stretch my fingers.

Must remember to have a loo break between hands.
Am rocking back and forth in my chair waiting for the time to count down.

Breathtaking

I mostly missed one of the most awesome sunrises this morning.

I woke at a stupid hour.
I was bemused at the glory reflected by my dressing room table mirror.

Lifted my head clear of the pillow I'd buried my head under, to be greeted to a sweep of colour washing my front room with peach coloured light and a window filled with fluffy apricot clouds.

A usual sunrise is pretty and all, but doesn't spew colour across two rooms and paint the ceilings pink and orange, so was very special display this morning.

I should have slipped put of bed and crept out my door and danced in the colour.
It was an amazing sunrise.
I thought about it.
Briefly.

I didn't.

I was having a lovely dream in which I bought two green dresses at a second hand shop in a country hall.  They were a bargin.

The fitting room was a wonky stand alone stall in the middle of the room wot only reached up to just below my shoulders.  When I accidentally bumped the wall getting changed, it jogged the door which caused the simple toilet style latch to disengaged and pop open.  I had to scramble in an undignified way not to be exposed and try and relatch the door by evening and resquaring the walls.

What is with the change room/toilets/shower stalls that don't properly cover my body in my dreams, hey?!?!?

I do love dream shopping though.
I even like window shopping in my dreams, which normally depresses me under waking circumstances.

I bought two lovely dresses in green.  One floral and the other in two shades of green in crimped folds.

The lady I  work with thinks she doesn't dream at all.
She can't sleep in and leaps from abed to start housework cause she can't be still.
Doesn't even read books.

I cannot even begin to imagine what her life must feel like.
It seems like there must be a whole quarter section of her life missing.

The dream state.
The reluctance to abandon the dream state.
The temptation to return to the dream state.

I have whole cities and houses that I return to on a frequent basis.

She was very kind listening to me waffle about the dresses I bought in my dream.  Particularly since she probably thinks I'm nuts.

I wish I'd taken a photo.
I dont have the words.

Maybe I'll wake wake tomorrow to something nearly as good?
Or dream shop a more upmarket rack?

I've yet to have a dream ball.
Maybe tonight?

Twiddling thumbs ...

... waiting to see what happens.

Teenage son of dr at practice I work at has been drafting reasons for him to be given my sunday shift based on hours worked.

(Irrespective of the hourly rate, length of service, competency,  life requirements such as being sole income earner compared to spoilt brat living at home who spends over three hundred dollars on a pair of shoes).

I've been working there casual for six years and make rare mistakes. Am obliging and flexible about changing my hours etc.

Teenage son (whose father is compensating his hourly rate to equal experienced long term staff cause his son wouldn't have stayed otherwise, on actual payrate for inexperienced staff member of his age) makes lots of mistakes and sounds like a dead person when he speaks, but his father is one of their mainstay permanent doctors.

Teenage son would be much cheaper on a higher paid day than either myself or the other lady I alternate with.

We were given the sunday shift to make up for the reduction of our hours during the week.

Lets see what happens.

All this when my body is betraying me and I am not likely to make a good impression on new employer's with my wrist wrapped up like a mummy.

Sigh.

Think I need to shift to only eating once a day and squirrelling any spare money away for emergencies.

2018 is not been a good year.

Argh

Lots of kitty affection in this cold weather.

I'm in two minds as to whether I should cancel my dr appt Tuesday.

It's just for blood results to send along with the specialist referral, and I dont expect they will be much different to last years. I don't see any reason to make an appearance since he doesn't want to prescribe me anything until after I see the specialist.

I fancy playing hard to get, just in case the new random dr actually takes an interest.
I've decided I  will re-engage when he actualy asks me a question.

I am excessively uncomfortable talking about myself on a one to one situation.
I am just not comfortable being intimate with complete strangers.

He didn't even ask about my home situation or if i had any support last visit.
Lets see what happens.

In the meantime im trying to work out if i can drop a shift.

Only .. if i can drop a shift, they aint going to give it back when i feel better.
I can live on 5 or less hundred dollars a week for a few months, but not for more than that cause it doesnt really leave extra for things like rego and Xmas.
Sigh.

Had a night chock filled with vivid dreams.

Nightmare culminating in devil possessed smallest pet cat Wombat with blue light shining from her eyes and unable to remember the words to the Lord Prayer.

Woke muttering "Our father who art in heaven" and resorted to pulling tbe blanket over my head until i felt better.

Second dream involved a marriage ceremony for Prince Harry and Meaghan or howsoever she spells her name.  I was a minor clergy in a garden ceremony with only  maybe twentyish people there and i stuffed my lines.  But there was this whole other spinof about having their honeymoon on the Canary Islands for three weeks and treasured australian comedians like Denise Drysdae reminiscing, publicspeaking, about their time on the Canary Islands and the buses not having working breaks and all the near accidents they had.

There was this whole virtual experience/teaser but without having to wear stoopid looking headsets to sell the Royal family on the Island honeymoon experience.

It was one of those special dream moments when all feels right with the world and it has maybe cured/made up for/compensated for all the worlds ills.

Running my hand through illustional virtual dream reality sea water lapping a moden concrete building on a half submerged concrete broadwalk with decorative specimen mangrove trees. Sun shining.  Water dancing gently in the breeze playing with the blue of the sky and the grey of the concrete and dappled with leaves and occasional mangrove root protrubances.

I have no idea what the Canary Islands is like, or the state of their public transport and no semblance of my dreamscape should be taken as a derogatory opinion/statement of the actual place.

I am sure its lovely.

I dont know.
Maybe its just i sign that I should go myself to the Canary Islands?

Whoops ...

... i think I've scared my mother.

She has been protesting my decision to try methotrexate again, because she didn't like the effect it had on my mood and personality last time.

However, today was the first day we've both had off from work and bridge and she took me to the local shopping centre to look at a couple of things.

Sadly, I've been in a somewhat decrepit state of late and she has now decided I do need to try and take medication again.

I think I've distressed her.

So I let her buy me an early birthday present to make her feel better. (I was going to buy it for myself anyway)

It is by local artist Margaret Crawford.

I think it nicely captures the evil weeping angel-like quality the curlew has.  Pity one cannot incorporate the special screaming for help I'm being attacked and tortured by a gang quality of their night time activities.

She is one of my favourites along with Sonia Ward, whom I have too pull my finger out and buy some of soon, except usually the ones I really love and want to own cost lots of cash, whereas Margaret does some awesome stuff which she sells for just twenty, thirty dollars.

Sonia also has cool stuff for not much, i just like the mixed media work currently on sale for 265ish sooooooooo much more.  She did some really great paintings of pregnant woman/anatomy featuring featus which I really really wanted too.

And there were some mixed mefia world map style works and etc etc etc.

Drags feet reluctantly ...

Finally went to a doctor about my malfunctioning wrist.
Haven't seen the report yet, but from the pictures I don't think it's good.

My wrist.

Normal wrist

The picture of my wrist looks like someone has run the smug function over it;
Or it's dissolved;
Or something.

Still ... it makes me feel better about considering it an ouchy.
I always worry that I am just being a sook :)

Mia

My sisters cat.

And action shot of startled peacock.

Embarrassed blush ...

Two beautiful young men just showed up at my place to spruik the McGrath Foundation and raise funds.

I am one of those people who think nothing is bothering them until one word sets off a gush of tears and wailing.

Sadly, it happened during the ever so pretty young handsome man's speech.

I hope I haven't totalled their day.

Did my best to tell them they were doing good work etc, but am like a sobbing three year old when I cry.  All heaving sobs and shuddering breathes.

Poor boys.

Sister is infact, very well considering.
They have decided can skip surgery and go straight to radiotherapy .

Everybody in the family is letting their hair grow back now.

Mother is due to arrive saturday.
Hopefully for only two weeks.

Dad is in hospital in Melbourne with some kind of skin infection on his legs and heart ussues. My sister assures me he is safe to ring cause he is very confused and can only speak for about five minutes at a time.

Dad is notorious for his long winded conversations/monologues which frequently feature stories from his days of working as a taxi driver.

Have not been able to stand tbe smell of rum since.

Did twelve bags of shredding at work yesterday.
A paperless office still involves an aweful lot of shredding.

Sad to only feel like one has managed to do something constructive by destroying something.

Saturday at work

Lent (gave) $20 to one of the regular patients today.

He wasn't there to see a dr, just stopped to ask if I could spare him some cash.
Is having a bad time with reflux and can't afford to buy different food until next pension day.

Poor old man was burping every three seconds and I know how uncomfortable that feels.

Not that I am particularly flush with funds this week.
Still owe my sister money.

Had to put scooter in, as headlight blew.
They mentioned needed a new back tyre at last service, so did that this time since it was going in.

Poor fella is quite hard to understand sometimes wot with the missing teeth and head injury.

Never feel quite as sorry for myself as I might anymore.

Have made big Bolognese for myself and bought dry cat food for the week.
Now have $20 left for wet catfood for the week.
Its doable.

Just have to be parsimonious with the kitty litter.

One of the new drs has asked me to make extra pesto for him next time I am making a batch.

So I now have a podiatrist and a doctor asking to give me money for food, lol!

Poor Suki ...

... managed to muster her safely into the cat carrier.
Cone and all.

She removed the cone herself a couple of days before, whilst I was at work,  so I left it off overnight so she could get a good clean in.

She licked off all the fur on the back of her back legs along with a couple of other patches.  God only knows what the vet thinks "insert sad worried oppressed face emoji"

She vomited up spit vomit in stress at the voyage.
I stopped at my sister's place on the way to clean her up.
Three or four vomits later she was at the vets.

Couldn't get her out of the cage.
Eventually was able to get a towel over her and slide her out.

She was very well behaved once she had a towel over her head.
If only they made those hawk/falcon hoods for small feral nervous cats.

All healed up beautifully .
Vet happy.
Ish.

Subsequent behaviour interesting.

Still a very discreet cat.
Unlikely to be assertive or put herself forward.

Except occasionally.
She appears to have decided that I am fair game when sitting upright, which I don't do often as I only really have one wooden chair that is not very comfortable to sit on, but which the arms of which are very useful in helping me get up from the mattress on the floor, which is my bed at present, and that I am spending far too much time reclined on.

She is very cute.
Even in her piebald state.

My sister says she looks like Toothless from how to train your dragon.

Oh dear ...

... poor Suki was not pregnant, or at least not successfully pregnant.

1.3 grams of pusy infected uterus was removed from my poor sick pussy.
(I couldn't resist an are you being served moment there, sorry peoples)

She forgave me for her first fearfilled foray into the outside world 10 hours or more later, but has now ostracised me since the painkilling injection has worn off.

Suki has always been the most nervy and feral of all my cats.
She can hear a blister pack from rooms away and will hide behind the stove where I cannot reach her for hours, sigh.

All I have to do is look at her in an interested way to scare her into the unknown  hidden pockets of my duplex.

I only know two of her hideaways.
Unfortunately she has four or five.

She is supposed to get her stitches out Saturday, and I am not quite sure if I'll manage it.

She only half destroyed the vets office.

The vet said she was very well behaved once she was wrapped up and covered in a towel.

Funnily enough she likes a pat, as long as you don't physically handle or move her in any way.  I have quite enjoyed the (i now know,  pain inspired) assertiveness of the last couple of weeks.

Ive always thought she would enjoy a house of own without the competition of her siblings.

2018 died before it started ...

I am feeling particularly sad, for no apparent reason.
I've burst into tears three times so far this afternoon.
Its a mystery.

My eldest sister wants me to go to the circus Sunday.
Maybe I should .
I don't want to .

Suki is too old to have kittens,  but has managed to consort prior to the big snip for FeedMe .
She is now well and truly overdue.

So 2018 has started with my scooter breaking dowm and costing somewhat under a thousand,  to be topped by my cat wot will probably cost nearly the same .

Its just that I was really going to focus on setting myself up for success this year.

I really wanted to get the gas reconnected,  turn the hot water system off and eat more green things.

Fuck me.

Because I'm fucked before I even started.

Sigh

Stinky wet dog ...

... but looking FABULOUS darlinks