I have loved getting older, tremors about zero ending birthdays aside, because it has brought me calmness.
This weekend I was not calm. This weekend was like I was twelve/twenty again and feeling like I wanted to cry and/or vomit every five minutes. I did cry every five minutes. And there has been a darth of sleep. I am so tired.
My anxiety issues about rental inspections are getting silly. I could do nothing this weekend, but sit slumped in my lounge chair and feel ill.
I change the flyscreens on the security windows - which is a lot harder than I thought - and the pressing down with the roller thingy set off my neck problems (arthritis) which brought on the headache which knocked me out for the rest of the day. I feel a great deal of retrospective sympathy for that cleaning lady who used to work for mum who had neck problems and would have to take off two or three days a month from work.
Sister wasn't going to Charters Towers after all, but did have basketball finals and stuff to take kids to, so her car wasn't available and other sister was sick and had their own grocery shopping to do and such like, so by the time she called me to say car was available there wasn't going to be enough time for me to get all the stuff I had planned to shop for (I was going to play homemaker and buy a few rugs and dirt to fill in the puddles in the yard and stuff).
Sunday was more feeling sick and teariness, though I got a bit done in the afternoon. Not enough though.
... and I haven't taken my cats to my sisters. It's all so much hassle and stress. So I am going to ask time off work to be home for the two hour period they gave for showing up for the inspection and I am going to hide the cats in their cat carriers in the deserted house next door or under the house or in a cupboard - depending on how much noise they make.
It is ridiculous for a forty year old woman (nearly) to have to beg favours from people because of a rental inspection.
So I figure if I am not running around at 4 am in the morning with distressed cats and actually home for the inspection, which I never have been before, it will assist me to get over the growing anxiety issues I am experiencing.