Only worry if you get an answer

I mutter to myself in grocery stores (more than mutter perhaps even).

It’s a running dialogue. Do I want this? Should I get that? I know I want it, but do I need it?

And I answer myself.

You only want it, you don’t need it. You’re supposed to be saving, but fuck it, ey? And I buy it anyway.

Other times I say to myself, i say ‘my middle name is potentially restraint’. Originally I said ‘your middle name is restraint’ but since it isn’t, it felt kind of like I was lying, but potentially my middle name could be restraint because I could change it with Births, Deaths and Marriages, so then it isn’t entirely a fib and I wonder if I really changed my middle name to restraint whether it would be more effective, because at this point it doesn’t work very well.

Sometimes after an involved argument with myself I realise I have forgotten to look around first to see if there are witnesses within hearing range.