Hoist the mainsail

I am wearing one of my Uncle Sidney's old shirts.  My sister's cockaitel seems to like it.  It viciously attacks fingers that approach its face to very little effect.  Sometimes it wolf whistles.  Sometimes pop goes the weasel.  Sometime it seems to be saying wotcha wotcha wotcha.  I have the bird on my shoulder.  It was wandering about on my 13yr niece, until it shit on her leg.